


I’ll pour the bottle out, and be myself again

by Wolfslick6007



Category: We Are The Tigers - Allen
Genre: (But Riley does go to jail), Again all trigger warnings at the start of each chapter, All trigger warnings are at the start of each chapter, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, F/M, This wasn’t supposed to be this long, Usually I include Riley in that, also let Farrah and Annleigh be sisters thank you, and yet here we are, apparently not in this one, can someone please get these traumatized teens therapy???, it was supposed to be a oneshot, let them be friends and found family pLEASE, sorry Riley pat pat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:02:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29949708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfslick6007/pseuds/Wolfslick6007
Summary: Farrah wanted to be better. It was a resolution made in a bathroom at a sleepover she didn’t want to be at.But healing is hard.It’s only harder when the captain of your team decided to make an attempt to remove the team’s ‘tumors.’Of course, fate also decided to pull the ragtag, warring group of tigers together. Turn enemies to friends. It turns out no matter how many walls Farrah put up, they weren’t leaving her alone. They wanted to pick up the pieces and Farrah didn’t understand why.Healing takes time. She doesn’t understand that right now.
Relationships: Annleigh/Clark (We Are The Tigers), Chess/Farrah (We Are The Tigers), Kate/Eva Sanchez (We Are The Tigers), Past/mentioned Cairo/Riley (We Are The Tigers)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: attempted murder, knives, blood, stabbing, drinking/alcohol, mentioned vomiting, hospitals, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts(???) at the very least very depressed thoughts
> 
> ....... I think we all can tell what happens in this chapter.

All Farrah could smell was vomit and booze.

The bathroom was silent after Reese left. And that left Farrah to her buzzing thoughts.

God, she was a mess.

Farrah knew that she wasn’t a good person.

Look at her, drunk off her ass on a bathroom floor when she was supposed to be sober at a sleepover. Breaking Annleigh’s phone when she was just trying to talk to her. Saying mean things to Reese without even meaning too. Picking fights and making arguments.

Fuck. She wasn’t even close to a good person. Farrah knew it, she’s heard it.

Everyone hates her. She doesn’t have anyone in this world. Farrah thinks she doesn’t even have herself.

Farrah thinks she hates herself.

She’s broken and unfixable.

She’s a disappointment to everyone around her.

All her life, she’s tried to be more than that damn disappointment. More than a shadow in the background of life.

She tried to be better, really she did. She tried to piece herself together from shattered remains. She tried to be more social but she always became the outcast.

So, she turned to alcohol.

The numbness felt freeing. She didn’t worry about her parents or Annleigh. She wasn’t a shy shadow anymore. She wasn’t a nobody anymore, sure they weren’t her friends, but at least they knew who she was.

And then the fall happened. Then it went viral. And suddenly, rumors spread. And then everyone knew Farrah as the girl who fell.

She was even more of a disappointment than before.

So Farrah fell on a spiral of more alcohol. Empty it all. Numb it all. She was fine, she was okay. Nothing was wrong.

But alcohol always wears off eventually.

And when that faded she was forced to face reality. She would lay on her bed and stare at the ceiling for hours, nursing a hangover and ignoring the knocks at her door that faded and soon disappeared completely over time. And as she stared, she would think even when she didn’t want to.

About everything.

And in this bathroom, staring at the door Reese just walked out, Farrah couldn’t get rid of those thoughts.

Even drunk beyond belief, when she would normally be empty of sorrow and her thoughts muddled and blurred, she couldn’t get rid of those damn thoughts.

It was like everything had come crashing down.

She argued with Kate. She bullied Reese. She lost a sister.

… Lost the hope she had left in the world.

She finally lost everything. And Farrah knew that she herself had caused it. She had made everything worse. She wasn’t just cracked and broken anymore, she was shattered.

And Farrah couldn’t imagine how any of it could be salvaged.

But a thought ticked in her head. Something that sounded impossible. Her gaze flicked over to the flask and she picked it off the floor, stumbling as she went.

She glared at it.

The thought pressed at her, it wouldn’t leave. It told her to stop drinking. Farrah doesn’t know how to feel about it, still dizzy from drinking and vomiting.

She could throw it all away right then and there if she wanted to. She could pour it out and begin a climb towards being better. Was it possible for her to be better?

Maybe she wanted to be.

Maybe, just maybe… she would rather be that hopeless loser girl.

She thinks… maybe she doesn’t want to be empty anymore.

Farrah swallowed deeply, staring at the flask in her hand for a long moment.

Was she strong enough to do this…?

Farrah shook her head, causing her to stumble and place a hand on the wall. She took a deep breath.

Farrah thought of Annleigh again. She wanted to be better for her sister (were they sisters now? Had she already ruined that?). She wanted to be better for herself. After all, look at everything she had said and done to the team.

A determined glint came to her glazed eyes and she pulled the toilet seat up. She turned the flask and watched as the remaining alcohol joined the water.

A sudden knock came to the door and Farrah cursed under her breath. The knocking became louder just as the flask emptied.

“Just… just a minute!” Farrah called back as she flushed, watching the alcohol go down the drain and closing the flask.

A sense of satisfaction swelled in her chest alongside the looming anxiety. There were so many unknowns. But… Farrah wanted to stick to this resolution.

She was going to do something with her life.

Farrah couldn’t stop the small huff as the knocking grew more insistent. But she still felt lighter as she opened the door.

And just like that, a stone dropped in her chest, sending everything scattering.

Even drunk she could see who it was. Riley. But that wasn’t the part that sent sheer terror though her entire body.

Riley was holding a bloodied knife, poised to stab her.

Farrah staggered back, a scream escaping her lips. She was cornered, her back hitting the shower wall.

The next thing she felt was searing pain.

~~||~~||~~

Annleigh was on a mission.

Anxiety and guilt squirmed in her gut as she made her way down the hall. God, she regretted what she had told Farrah earlier. Clark in the kitchen had gotten her mind off it but now it was back in her mind.

And Annleigh was guilty.

Farrah was her sister, she really was. Annleigh just… there were many problems between them. Their parents, Farrah’s drinking, her own anxiety problems, the many arguments…

And all of it strained their relationship. Annleigh wasn’t sure how to fix it. Half the time, Farrah was too drunk to even want to try…

But Annleigh knew for sure she had gone too far. She had told Farrah they weren’t sisters.

So now she was looking for Farrah, wanting to apologize.

(Maybe, just maybe, if this apology worked out, they could start moving towards a better relationship.)

There was a scream from out of nowhere. Annleigh froze.

It wasn't one of joy and playfulness. It was terrified, bloodcurdling. And Annleigh recognized it.

“FARRAH!”

Annleigh found her legs moving on their own accord into a sprint down the hall. She couldn’t hear the surprised yelps and flurry of footsteps from downstairs. The others had heard Annleigh’s scream of Farrah’s name.

Annleigh froze in the bathroom’s doorway. Her hand shot up to her mouth and she staggered back until she hit the hallway wall as she let out a muffled scream.

Riley stood there, staring back at her wide eyed. She hadn’t been expecting Annleigh. She was covered in blood and held a bloodied knife in hand.

Farrah was on the shower floor, slumped against the wall. Her head was tilted forward, Annleigh couldn’t see her face. But she could see the blood. It covered Farrah, originating from the stab wound. It was on the walls and floor from where Farrah had slid down.

“Annleigh—!” Riley began to say and Annleigh couldn’t ignore the wild look in the senior’s eyes. Annleigh flicked her gaze to Farrah and suddenly couldn’t take her eyes off Farrah.

Annleigh didn’t hear the others rushing up beside her. What she did hear was the yells of shock and confusion.

And right when Riley was about to say something, Kate leapt forward with Cairo directly behind her. She didn’t get a chance to speak as she was sent sprawling to the ground, the knife spinning across the tiled floor.

Kate and Cairo were swiftly pinning her down. Kate’s stunned gaze turned to Farrah for a long second. “What the actual fuck?!”

“Let me go! It was for the good of the team!” Riley tried to shake them off.

“Wh—! Good of the team?!” Kate gaped at her. Everyone else looked just as stunned.

Annleigh had scrambled past them to Farrah’s side. She sobbed upon seeing and feeling the blood and seeing it trailing down Farrah’s chin too.

“Farrah? Farrah!”

Annleigh took hold of Farrah, pulling her against her and putting pressure on the wound.

“Ann…?” Farrah gasped out. She was in shock and injured. Add on the alcohol in her veins and she would be unconscious in half of a second.

“That’s right. That’s right! Stay awake!” Annleigh urged, still panicking. Farrah only let out a small breath before her eyes slipped close.

“RILEY WHAT THE FUCK?!” Cairo was screaming at her best friend. The one who had undeniably tried to kill their teammate (and maybe… she had succeeded).

“Cairo it wasn’t me!” Riley tried to protest, focusing on her best friend. Her plan was falling apart! Did they not see that Farrah was causing their failures?!

“Who the fuck else could it have been?! You’re covered in blood holding a knife over Farrah!” Cairo spat, but tears were noticeable in her eyes. “What the hell Riley?! You just… you…”

“I’m going to go check on Mattie!” Reese finally declared, having been stuck in a shocked silence. No one got a word in before she vanished from the doorway.

The mention of a missing teammate clicked something in Kate’s mind. Realization suddenly flashed in her eyes, immediately followed by panic. “CHESS!”

She was bolting from the room, leaving Cairo alone pinning Riley down, and no one bothered to stop her. None of them saw the desperation in Kate’s eyes but was painfully clear in her voice.

“What’s going on?!”

Annleigh spun to see that it was Clark who spoke, tears blurring her vision but capable of recognizing her boyfriend’s voice in seconds. The boy hadn’t managed to leave the house yet.

“Clark! Farrah—! She—!” Annleigh could only sob, turning back to Farrah. “Farrah, wake up! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

Had it been another circumstance, Cairo would have been furious to see Clark at the sleepover. But this was not normal circumstances. “Clark! A little help?!”

Riley was struggling under her, yelling. “Cairo! Let me go! You don’t have to do this! It was for the good of the team!” Cairo was doing her best to ignore her best friend’s yells.

Clark still looked stunned. No one could blame him. All of this had happened in the span of seconds. But he still moved to Cairo’s side, helping hold the cheerleading captain to the ground.

From there, Annleigh could only hold Farrah close, trying desperately to get her to open her eyes. The same was happening outside, Kate calling Chess’s name, a pizza delivery girl staying resolutely by her side with phone in hand.

It wasn’t long after that until they could hear sirens.

~~||~~||~~

Interrogation had been long.

Those who had been covered in blood were given new clothes and cleaned up. Their parents had been called but most if not all couldn’t make it until later. Everyone had given their statements before being released.

Riley wasn’t released. She was in holding until trial once Farrah and Chess woke up.

Because the two lived.

While the rest of the tigers were in interrogation, Chess and Farrah had been taken to the hospital immediately. Surgery had been performed and they were stable but still critical.

If they had gotten help even a second later, they wouldn’t be so relieved right now.

All of the tigers had been allowed into Chess and Farrah’s shared hospital room, where the two were unconscious. Clark was there as well, by Annleigh and Farrah’s side. And so was the pizza delivery girl that had called the police.

Eva Sanchez was having a very crazy night, to say the least.

She had been delivering pizzas, just trying to do her job. When walking up to the house of her most recent delivery, she had heard a scream. A scream of desperation that made Eva drop the pizza and sprint to the source.

In the night it had been hard to see the blood. But upon getting closer to where she could see in the outside light that had been turned on, it was clear. A girl lying unconscious on the ground covered in blood, another girl above her screaming “Chess!” Over and over.

Eva had called the police and helped put pressure on the wound, trying to keep the uninjured girl calm.

And now, sitting in the hospital room with the Tigers, Eva didn’t think she could leave just yet.

Did she know these people? No. But after everything, Eva didn’t think she could just leave.

Chess and Farrah laid in their beds, bandaged and hooked up to IVs. They had even been given oxygen masks, showing the group just how deadly the situation had been.

Kate (the cute girl— not the time to be gay, Eva!) sat by Chess’s side, clutching her best friend’s hand close. Annleigh mirrored that image with Farrah. Clark stood behind Annleigh’s chair, hands rubbing soothing circles into his girlfriend's shoulders. Mattie and Reese shared the couch, Mattie drifting in and out of sleep, the wound she had gotten on her face patched up. Cairo leaned against the wall, an unreadable expression in her face. Eva herself had taken a chair and sat leaning over, elbows on her knees.

The room was filled with silence between the group, only the irritating beeping of vital monitors filling it.

It was Kate who finally sighed, glancing around the room. “I think we need to talk about what just happened…”

“Riley… she…” Reese trailed off.

Cairo ran a hand down her face, exhaling a shuddering breath. “She was yelling as they took her away. She called them tumors. Said she was trying to remove them for the good of the team.”

Everyone openly gaped at her.

“Holy shit.” Eva couldn’t help but mutter.

“And her solution was murder?” Clark asked, stunned.

Cairo slid down until she was sitting on the floor. “Guess so…”

“Cairo…” Annleigh murmured.

Nearly everyone in the room knew how much Cairo had cared for Riley. And well… she had just watched her try to kill two people.

“I’m fine.” Cairo snapped, even though she was hunched over on the floor.

No one tried to push her.

“God… I never realized how shitty we all were to each other until now.” Kate said, gaze fixed on Cairo and Farrah. Almost losing two people you knew? It could change your point of view, and for the tigers in the hospital room, it did.

Everyone went silent at that. So, Kate continued, giving a simple apology. “I’m sorry.”

There were mumbled apologies from the others too. No one was in a good mental state for deeper apologies. But considering the night’s events, no one could really blame each other.

Eva and Clark met eyes and both saw relief. Even though Clark wasn’t a part of the team and Eva didn’t even really know these people, both couldn’t deny that they were happy to see the apologies.

Cairo grunted, looking back up again. “It’s pretty fucked up that it took murder for us to come to our senses. But… I’m sorry too, I guess.”

“We’ll have to say sorry to these two too when they get better.” Reese said. “And Mattie too…”

“No. I’m the only one here who needs to say sorry to Mattie.” Cairo interjected, stare lingering on the small freshman. “And you probably deserve the biggest apology here Reeses— Reese. Starting with not using that nickname.”

Reese actually gave her a smile at that.

“Let’s all get better.” Annleigh said, meeting each person’s eyes but shifting in her seat anxiously. “Let’s be better people. And maybe… we can start by being friends?”

Kate laughed bitterly, gripping Chess’s hand a little tighter. “Nothing like murder to turn enemies to friends.”

Cairo couldn’t stop the smirk from reaching her lips. “For once, you and I agree, Dalton.”

“You two agreeing? This night really is full of God’s miracles…” Annleigh let out a tiny laugh and everyone noticed how Clark’s tension released a little bit upon hearing that.

The group laughed and Eva felt a small smile of her own creep onto her lips. Maybe she didn’t know this group, but seeing a bit of light after this night’s darkness felt relaxing, even in a hospital.

Reese locked into Eva, her expression dawning with realization. “Oh uhm…” she suddenly seemed more withdrawn. “We never thanked you, did we?”

Eva blinked, shifting uncomfortably as all of the gazes landed on her. “No, but you don’t… it’s okay, really!”

Several people opened their mouths to speak. But before they could get a sound out, a shifting noise caught everyone’s attention.

Farrah was shifting on her bed. Annleigh let out a gasp and took Farrah’s hand. Clark beamed, resting his hands on Annleigh’s shoulders.

But… something didn’t feel right to Eva. With what happened, someone shouldn’t be waking up so quickly.

(Be better.

Be better…

Be a good sister.

The door…

Metal covered in red.

Screaming screaming screamingscreamingscreaming—

PAIN!)

“Farrah?”

The heart monitor spiked and everyone was out of their seats. Farrah was shaking, panicking. But she was still asleep.

And just like that, she snapped awake with a terrifying jolting motion.

A scream escaped Farrah’s mouth, but it was muted. By the pain, lack of voice, or the oxygen mask. Maybe all three.

Every conscious person in the room looked panicked.

“Should we get the doctors?!” Reese asked, wide eyed.

“No wait! She’ll panic more!” Eva said quickly before pushing herself forward, past Annleigh to Farrah’s side.

Eva met Farrah’s eyes. They were clouded and glazed but there was a shot of sheer terror present. Eva gently cupped the top of Farrah’s head and began to rub soothing circles.

“Hey, you’re okay. You’re safe now.”

Farrah tried to speak but Eva couldn’t hear her through the oxygen mask. Eva shook her head. “You don’t need to speak. You’re okay… it’s all over now.”

Farrah mumbled something frantically. She was still panicked but also looked so tired.

Eva thought for a moment before quickly jumping back into action. “Okay, okay, let's take some deep breaths. Focus on me.” She gently took Farrah’s hand and pressed it against her chest. “Just feel my heartbeat… look at me, okay?” Farrah met her eyes again. “We’re going to take some deep breaths now, okay?”

Farrah’s breaths were gasped and shuddered and looked painful to perform. Eva had a very good guess that the stab wound was not helping her panicky breathing.

But soon, the heart monitor soothed back to a normal rhythm and Farrah’s eyes slipped closed. Her chest rose and fell gently in her now calm sleep, making Eva let out a sigh of relief and smile as she gently lowered Farrah’s hand back down to her side.

Eva immediately stepped backwards, letting Annleigh swiftly move to Farrah’s side.

The older sister carefully pressed the back of her hand against Farrah’s forehead, rubbing it across and down Farrah’s cheek. She looked relieved but still panicked and so worried. Eva couldn’t help but wonder what Annleigh was thinking.

(Farrah almost died. Farrah almost died thinking Anneligh hated her. Annleigh remembered the shy, scared Farrah who followed her like a shadow in the early days of being sisters. Really, she saw the entirety of their time together. Farrah beginning to drink. Farrah’s fall and the consequential spiral into more alcohol. And now… Farrah’s almost death. Annleigh didn’t know what to think anymore. For right now, she just wanted Farrah safe.)

Annleigh gave a grateful look to Eva. “Thank you.”

Eva gave her a small smile. “I’m just trying to help.

“No seriously.” Kate spoke from Chess’s bedside. “You’ve helped us so much… if you hadn’t called the police this night would have been worse. You calmed Farrah down. And you’re still here even when you don’t know us.”

Eva met her gaze for a long moment and felt the blush rise to her cheeks before she managed to speak. “Maybe I don’t know you. But I do know what you just went through.”

Everyone stared at Eva for a moment, stunned. It was Clark who began to speak. “Thank—!”

Only for the door to open and a nurse to enter. “Hello everyone…” she smiled nervously. “I’m afraid it’s time for all of you to go home.”

“What?!”

“Leave—?!”

“But Chess and Farrah—!”

The nurse sighed heavily. Clearly she’s dealt with far too many objections before. “I know, and I’m so sorry. But I promise you that they’re in good hands.”

Everyone stared at her for another moment. No one quite knew what to say but clearly wanted to object. It was Eva who finally spoke.

“What do you mean they have to go home?” Eva demanded. “These are their friends in these hospital beds!”

(She didn’t notice every tiger shift slightly at the word friends. Friends? Yeah… since five minutes ago… and even that was pushing it.)

The nurse gave her a sad look. “I’m sorry, but I’m just enforcing the policy.”

“Honestly? I think it’s time we head home anyways.” Clark said, drawing everyone’s attention. “Our parents are worried and want to make sure we’re safe, we got caught up in attempted murder after all. The police will probably want to talk to us more tomorrow… and uh, I’m sure… we all have a lot of things to think through…”

“He’s right.” Cairo said, she looked to Mattie, an apologetic expression crossing her face. “Mattie especially needs to sleep.”

Mattie was still drifting in and out of sleep. She had jolted awake during Farrah’s panicked awakening, but once everything had calmed went back to her alcohol induced sleepiness.

Reese perked up from where she sat next to the freshman. “I can drive Mattie home!”

Cairo gave her a nod. “Thank you, Reese.”

Kate gave Chess a long stare before looking back to the others. “Alright, yeah… I guess I should go home…”

Annleigh met her eyes, worry was in her own gaze. “I think they’ll be okay while we’re gone… and we can come visit them.” She received a hesitant nod in return.

Decisions made, everyone filed out of the room one by one. As they went, Eva noticed Cairo getting everyone’s phone numbers, including Eva’s own and Clark’s.

(It turned out that it would be used to make a group chat the next day. So they could keep in touch through all of this and eventually it turned into a daily occurrence for each Tiger, Farrah and Chess too, that would bring a smile to their faces.)

The parking lot was cold. It was late at night after all. Eva puffed out a breath and watched the air condense until it was visible.

The parking lot was quiet, even with so many cars. And Eva couldn’t help but be on edge after what she had witnessed.

Eva remembered that it had been just as calm seconds before she heard the crying.

She was pulled from her thoughts by a hand tugging on her sleeve. Eve jumped and whirled, but slowly relaxed upon seeing Kate staring at her under the fluorescent hospital lights.

Not for the first time Eva took in just how… lost Kate seemed. The other junior’s shoulders were shrunk in. The spare clothes the police had managed to scrounge up for her looked too big for her frame. There was an indescribable look in her eyes.

(Eva rather hoped she could meet a confident version of this girl one day, like the one she glimpsed sharing jabs with the other girl… Cairo? That thought was quickly shaken away. After all, her job here was over, she doubted she would talk to any of these people again.)

“Hey, it’s Kate, right?” Eva asked carefully, her voice quiet.

Kate nodded with a deep breath. “Yeah… it’s Eva isn’t it?” At the following acknowledgement she slowly continued. “Listen… I just wanted to thank you. It’s because of you that my best friend is still alive.”

Eva nodded almost shyly. She wasn’t used to praise for literally saving people. She straightened herself. “I was just doing what I needed to do.”

Kate’s thank you quickly turned into a ramble. “But you still saved my best friend and Farrah too. I hate her but I never would have wanted her dead! And god, I really hate to impose on you even more but—!”

Eva carefully took Kate’s hands. “Hey, woah it’s okay. Just breathe for a sec.” Once Kate was calmer, Eva continued. “Now what do you need? I promise you aren’t bothering me.”

Kate coughed slightly, hiding a blush as she stared at her and Eva’s locked hands. “Well, my parents are out of town… and I don’t have anyone to drive me home.”

Eva’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Yeah, yeah I can drive you home for sure!”

Kate perked up slightly. “Really?”

Eva nodded before beginning to head towards her car. “It’s over here.”

Kate followed after her and they quickly reached the small car. And a minute later they were pulling from the parking space.

“So where are we going?” Eva asked easily.

“Shit, let me—!” Kate was quickly taking her phone out and plugging in her address. Eva chuckled as Kate fumbled with her phone slightly.

They both trailed into silence, Kate looking out the window at the passing lights outside and Eva focusing on following the directions.

Kate rested her head on the window with a deep breath. All of the stress from earlier finally hit her, leaving her drained.

“She’s going to be okay.”

Kate looked to Eva. The flier had her eyes on the road, but a sad expression on her face. She continued. “She’s stable and in a safe place where no one can hurt her and doctors can help her heal.”

Kate closed her eyes. “Yeah… yeah she will be. I just… we had an argument. Right before. And I almost never got the chance to apologize.”

Eva’s expression softened and she gave Kate a quick glance. “Don’t think about what could have happened. She’s safe now and you can apologize when she wakes up…”

Kate nodded, slowly looking down to the familiar black friendship bracelet on her wrist. “God, I was an asshole to my best friend.”

“I’m sure—!” Eva began to try and reassure.

“No, I really was!” Kate hissed, clenching her fists.

Eva paused for a moment before carefully continuing. “Well… you feel guilty about it. That’s a lot more that you can say than other people. And you clearly care about her, so… I think you either had a misunderstanding or good reason.”

A beat of silence.

“She was doing something that I thought she stopped a while ago. Something dangerous.” Kate spoke, voice barely above a whisper as she fidgeted with the bracelet. “And instead of trying to be a good friend and help her, I blew up at her.”

Eva pulled into Kate’s driveway, putting the car in park before looking at Kate fully. “Maybe you did. But you were worried, and that’s understandable. You feel guilty and want to apologize. That makes you anything but an asshole.” Eva unlocked the doors and stepped out. “And for right now, I think you need to head inside and rest…”

Kate snorted as she stepped out of the car. “Like I can rest after…” She paused. “That.”

Eva smiles apologetically. “You’re right, I’m sorry. But it still stands. I think the police want to talk to us more tomorrow.”

Kate took a deep breath, letting Eva walk beside her to the door. “Yeah…”

They reached the door and both stood for a moment. Kate looked to the ground, frowning and shifting. Eva tilted her head slightly at the sight. Why want Kate going in? Was she scared or still worried about earlier?

Kate had a small glare on her face and she kept her eyes on the ground. “Fucking hell...” she breathed to herself before meeting Eva’s eyes, her glare now a frown. “Listen… I don’t… I’m sorry I keep asking you for stuff. God, I don’t even know you and I vented to you in your car!”

Eva blinked and quickly responded. “Hey, no, it’s okay. What do you need?”

Kate actually looked nervous, shifting on her heels. “Do you… think you could stay the night?” She rushed to explain. “My parents are out and I don’t… think I can be alone right now.” That distant look Eva had seen several times tonight appeared on Kate’s face and Eva knew she was seeing it all play back again.

And god, how could Eva say no to that?

Truthfully, she didn’t think she could be alone either.

(Her father had left the picture a long time ago. Her mother was working several long jobs to support them. She hadn’t managed to make it to the police station, her boss wouldn’t let her leave and she had to let them record the call with her allowing Eva to leave by herself. Eva knew it was probably tearing her apart right now.)

Eva smiled. “I’ll absolutely stay. Maybe we can get to know each other? I don’t think I can really sleep…”

Kate relaxed at the agreement and let out a sharp exhale through her nose. “Yeah… I don’t think sleep is happening.”

Eva nodded and let Kate lead her to the door. “Do you have anything warm? We can just drink hot chocolate or something and talk.”

“Yeah, yeah we can do that.” Kate paused at the door and faced Eva fully again. “Thank you… thank you so much.”

Eva chuckled almost shyly. She couldn’t find the right words to speak.

Kate simply held out her hand, not trembling like it was before. “It’s… nice to meet you, Eva.”

Eva couldn’t stop the laugh as she shook Kate’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Kate. Why don’t we get to know each other under better uh… circumstances?”

Kate perked up slightly. “Yeah. Yeah that sounds great.”

As she held open the door to let Eva slip inside, Eva pulled out her phone and sent a text she hadn’t been able to send to her mom in a long time.

‘Hey mom, I can't be alone right now so I’m staying with a friend. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Promise.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did none of their parents show up after their kids got caught up in attempted murder? Good question—
> 
> Fun fact: I started this very soon after I got into WATT, maybe sometime in January. I dropped it for a while before picking it back up towards the middle of February. I gave it a reboot and carried over scenes I liked that fit with the reboot. Now here we are!
> 
> This... was honestly just supposed to be a story about Chess and Farrah surviving and then doing one thing from later in the story I shall not spoil. I couldn’t resist throwing in a bunch of interactions and found family stuff, forcing me to chunk it into multiple chapters— what’s the final word count? ....... you’ll find out.
> 
> But hey, I’m very proud of this! And I hope everyone enjoys it too! I know Chess and Farrah isn’t a popular ship but I adore it and it helped spawn this monstrosity that I love!
> 
> Most of this is prewritten so I wanted to begin posting. Some later stuff I haven’t finished yet but I got excited and couldn’t resist starting to post it!
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: abuse, talk of addictions to alcohol and painkillers, mentioned blood, reopening injuries, nightmares, trauma, self-hatred

It was bright.

That was the first thing Farrah’s muddled brain processed. Pain and the strong painkillers worked to blur and empty her thought process.

There was muffled talking. Who was there? Where was she?

She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut at the light, her brain beginning to fade back into unconsciousness.

The voice she couldn’t even hear snapped something and then Farrah felt a harsh pressure on her shoulder.

Something was grasping at her shoulder in a strong grip to the point that it hurt. And that rather small pain seemed to spark the rest of her body, especially the stab wound, to scream in agony. It was only heightened when the grip began to shake her, practically pushing instead of shaking.

Farrah couldn’t help but let out a cry in response to the pain.

“Look at me, Farrah!” The voice was speaking and Farrah could make out some of what it was saying now. Was it fully processed in her mind? That was unclear.

Everything was slurred and half processed. Pain and painkillers blurring the world and her mind.

Slowly she cracked open her eyes a second time, the bright light blinding her again. The two figures in front of her were blobs and blurry. Behind them was the deep blue of curtains, everything else was white and too bright.

Everything still hurt and one of the blurred figures leaned in close to her. Faintly, Farrah could recognize them.

Her parents.

“Are you listening to me?” Her father’s voice hissed. Farrah couldn’t get a word out, an unintelligible noise exiting her mouth instead. Her father continued. “You won’t say a word about your drunk shenanigans.”

Her step-mother agreed. “It would ruin us if it got out!”

(They’ve never been this bad. They yelled and screamed but Farrah has never been practically threatened and manhandled before. Had she been more aware and stable, it might have frightened Farrah.)

Farrah couldn’t reply. Her mouth was too dry, everything was still fuzzy, and everything hurt.

And that only seemed to tick her parents off more.

“Oh for—!” Her father sounded beyond irritated. “Are you listening?! Surely you aren’t that hurt!”

“This is God’s punishment.” Step-mother agreed. “You’ve sinned too much and look where it got you!”

“It's your fault. You got drunk and you got stabbed.”

It was… her fault? Stabbed? What… what happened? Farrah couldn’t think properly, much less remember.

Where was she? What’s going on?

All she knew was that her parents were angry, everything was too bright, and everything was agony.

Farrah tried to move, the pain in her stomach and on her shoulder being too much to handle. She squirmed, only creating more agony that turned a whimper to an agonized cry.

“Be quiet, Farrah! And don’t say a word about—!”

There was a noise. A door? And then voices. Her father’s hand quickly moved from her shoulder. Farrah’s scream trailed off and she heaved for breath, trembling and squirming as the pain remained.

Farrah couldn’t see it and only faintly heard it, but an event was happening around her.

(Chess’s parents were also visiting their own daughter. They didn’t have hidden or angry agendas. They genuinely cared about Chess and came to visit her as soon as they could. They had walked in and heard the screaming. Upon seeing their own daughter fine and simply barely awake due to the screaming, dazed from her own meds and pain, they had looked to a deep blue curtain instead, pushing it open to find the stunning sight of Farrah and her own parents.)

“What the hell is going on here?!”

“What are you— get out!”

“You’re hurting her!”

“We’re not hurting her, we're talking to her!”

“Are you joking?! We saw it!”

“You saw wrong! We’re her parents, why would we hurt our own child?!”

Muffled yelling. Farrah still felt that pain in her stomach.

“Get security!”

“Hello dear…”

Another of the new voices was right next to her now, calm and soothing. A far gentler touch rubbing up and down her arm. It wasn’t her parents. Eyes squeezed shut and everything still muddled, Farrah couldn’t tell who it was. She just knew that they were nice, calm, and quiet compared to her parents.

Farrah let out a deep breath. She was calmed by the gentle pressure on her arm and the murmured words. Her movement slowed until it stopped completely. Her stomach still burned.

“She reopened her injury… alright, dear, you’re okay now… the doctors and nurses are going to help you.”

The voice grew faint. Actually, everything grew faint. The still loud yelling of multiple people grew faint, the feeling of the person next to her grew faint, the nurses who were beginning to whisper and look over her grew faint.

Until finally, it all went black again.

Farrah would only barely remember that the event even happened later on. She had been too out of it.

~~||~~||~~

The days in the hospital were… boring. Boring and depressing.

As the painkillers were lowered in dosage and Farrah’s mind became less and less muddled, more and more memories came back to her.

Memories of Riley stabbing her. Memories of that night and snippets of her talk with Reese.

And in a hospital with no one but nurses and another injured person, you have time to think. You have time to think about everything you’ve done. (Getting drunk, hurting people, getting stabbed—)

Things hurt even worse when no one visits you. Farrah couldn’t remember it well, but after her parents' interaction with her, they had been banned from coming to see Farrah. But honestly? Farrah doesn’t think she wants to see them anyways.

No, the one that hurts is Annleigh.

Annleigh never showed up. Farrah supposed… they really weren’t sisters anymore…

Her only company were the nurses she only gave answers too, even if they tried to talk to her. Chess was there too, sometimes, she tried to talk to Farrah. She would try to ask if Farrah was awake, ask if Farrah was doing alright.

Farrah chose to pretend to sleep or ignored her.

Sometimes, Kate came to visit Chess. They would talk for what seemed like hours. Farrah pretended to sleep then too. Occasionally, she could feel their stares on her alongside a whispered conversation about how she was doing. (Sometimes, it also repeated with the other Tigers, who would talk to Chess seeing that she was willing to talk.)

While Chess received visitors and talked to people, Farrah stayed alone.

She tried to convince herself it was okay. She wasn’t lonely, this is what she wanted. That didn’t keep her from crying at night sometimes, when she thought Chess was asleep.

(Most of the time Chess wasn’t asleep. She would lay there, dealing with her own trauma and listen as Farrah sobbed. Part of her ached to go comfort her, but it was drowned out by the other part that felt scared and guilty.)

Another thing that happened at night was nightmares. It only made sense after everything.

Both Chess and Farrah had them.

And tonight, Farrah was having a bad one.

She couldn’t quite remember what it had been about. Her parents? Annleigh? Riley? That last one was an even safer bet.

Farrah just woke up in a panic. She heaved for breath, heart racing. Did she scream or did she wake up silently? She looked around the room, wide eyed. Then, without hesitation she moved to get up, pushing a leg over the side of the bed.

“Farrah?”

Farrah paused.

It was Chess. The Senior was blinking sleep from her eyes, looking at Farrah in concern. “Are you okay?”

Farrah hissed, panic still coursing through her veins. She didn’t need this right now. “Fine. Fuck off.”

Chess only looked more worried, sitting up a little. “I don’t know if you should be out of bed just yet.”

“I said fuck off, Chess.” Farrah snarled, moving her other leg over.

“Was it a nightmare?”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

Both of them sat there, staring at each other. Chess’s eyes were wide and Farrah was glaring, breathing heavy.

“I just need to move.” Farrah growled.

“Farrah, I’m here to talk if you had a nightmare. Please don’t hurt yourself worse—!” Chess tried to insist.

“Stop pretending like you’re worried, bitch.”

“I am worried! I know how the nightmares feel—!”

Farrah glared at her again. “That doesn’t mean shit. I’m fine.” She moved to push herself up.

“Farrah, you’re—!”

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY IT!”

Chess froze at the shriek. She stared at Farrah. The sophomore was breathing heavily, deep inhales and exhales moving through her lips. A cracked sob escaped Farrah’s lips and Chess felt her worry increase.

“Farrah…?”

“You don’t have to say it…” The words were so quiet that Chess almost didn’t hear them.

Chess’s brows furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

“I know what you were about to say Chess.” Farrah didn’t meet her eyes, keeping her gaze resolutely on the sheets. “It’s what they all say. It’s what I am.”

She continued, Chess gaping at her. “The girl too stubborn to listen to others even while sober. The girl who never thinks. A drunk who’s going to die before twenty. The girl who failed so spectacularly at last year’s competition. The disappointment and failure. You don't have to say shit I already—!”

The bed suddenly dipped and Farrah stopped in her tracks. She glanced up quickly and found Chess staring back at her. Chess carefully took Farrah’s hand and Farrah quickly pulled it away.

“What the fuck?!” She snapped, looking Chess up and down, not bothering to hide the tear streaks. “You tell me not to get out of bed—!”

“I was going to say… you’re hurt…”

Farrah paused, mouth open. She looked dazed for a moment.

Chess continued before Farrah could continue. “I wasn’t going to say anything like that. I was going to tell you that you’re still hurt, give it time. All of what you just said… it isn’t true.”

Farrah managed to get her voice back. “I… you of all people should think that. I yell at you daily…”

Chess froze for a small moment before closing her eyes and looking away guiltily. “I think… this is a talk we should have had months ago…” Farrah didn’t speak, only watching her with furrowed brows, so Chess continued. “You’re right. I was high.”

Now she admits it?! Farrah felt anger swell in her chest and she opened her mouth to yell. But Chess caught her eye, sadness and fear present, and Farrah stopped in her tracks.

“Please let me finish?” Chess asked quietly, voice almost a whisper. At Farrah’s hesitant but numb nod, Chess continued, playing nervously with the hospital bed’s sheets. “So… you know about how I was going to go to the Olympics. And… the injury.”

“Yeah…” Farrah muttered.

Everyone knew about the incident. It had been the talk of the town. The athlete all over the news and being praised for the Olympics suddenly on the news for a very different reason and being ridiculed and given fake sympathy.

“Well, they gave me painkillers for it.” Chess continued. “Of course, I needed them and took them like I was supposed to at first.” A glaze came to her eyes, like she was staring into the past. “But… my knee hurt more and more even with the painkillers. With the pain and my limp I couldn’t keep up… my coaches and fans began to pressure me, wanting me to reach the top again—!”

Chess had begun to ramble, anxiety and the memories taking her over. Her hands were clenched tight onto the blanket.

She was cut off by a hand slowly and hesitantly resting on her own.

Chess’s gaze shot up to see Farrah, staring back at her with an unreadable expression. Well, except that there was something sad in her eyes.

“You were panicking.” Was all Farrah said, quickly looking away but not moving her hands.

And that moment, small to anyone else but so huge for her, gave Chess hope. Farrah was listening and even tried to calm her. Maybe… they could move forward. Even if they didn’t, and no matter how painful recounting all of this was, Chess was just satisfied that now Farrah knew.

“With everything… it wasn’t hard to get hooked on the pills.” Chess finished. She opened her mouth to add one last line.

“It numbs and empties all of the pain.” Chess found her voice echoed at the same time by a different one. Her and Farrah both froze, meeting each other’s eyes.

“You…”

Farrah swallowed deeply, looking away from Chess. “I don’t just drink cause everyone else does…” She began to slowly nod to herself as she spoke. “I started drinking I think right before freshman year… but it wasn’t as much. And then the fall happened and the fucking video. Next thing I knew I was drinking my ass off every single day.”

Chess frowned, gaze drifting to their hands. “I never meant for that to happen… I think I’ll always feel guilty about it.”

Farrah chuckled spitefully. “At least you don’t deal with rumors over that damn video.”

Chess sighed deeply, tears beginning to gather in her eyes. “No. No I don’t. And you never should have had to deal with that either. It’s all my fault for getting high and dropping you.”

Farrah stared at her for a long moment. She never thought she would be hearing an apology from Chess.

She didn’t know how to feel. She was still angry, that video ruined her life. Yet, another part… it understood what Chess had gone through after hearing it. That part wanted to forgive Chess, to stop the senseless arguing that Farrah herself always seemed to start.

“You did…” Farrah nodded slowly. “And I’m still angry about it. But… I understand…” She gave Chess a glare. “I’m still pissed! But I know why you got high now.”

Chess kept her gaze down. “I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you.”

Farrah shrugged, careful of her injury. “I guess that time bullshit.”

Chess gave her a small smile. “Give it time then… although, maybe we could start talking some more? Get to know each other? I know it’s probably sucked being stuck in a room with a person you don’t really… like.”

The two met eyes again, hands finally pulling apart.

Farrah gave her a smirk. “That obvious?”

Chess gave her a teasing smile. “Not talking gave it away.”

Farrah looked away, trying to hide a hopeful yet wary smile. “Well, I guess getting to know each other is okay…”

Chess looked away too, but she also had that smile. “And hey… maybe… we could work on our addictions together?”

“... maybe we could.” Farrah murmured.

“Alright then… let’s get better. Together.” Chess declared softly. Farrah looked back to her just in time to see Chess wince, hand trailing down to her stomach.

“Oh shit, are you okay?” Farrah asked immediately.

Chess pulled her hand away and the two froze upon seeing blood. Chess sheepishly glanced to Farrah. “I think I reopened my wound. It hurts too…”

“Oh you dumbass!”

“Hey! I did this to stop you from doing this!”

“You’re still dumbass. I’m calling the nurse, don’t move.”

“Aww, you care!”

“I’m forgiving you, you little shit! Don’t blow it!”

And in the hospital… after near death only days before… things started to ever so slowly get better.

~~||~~||~~

It turned out, there wasn’t much one could do in a hospital when they were still injured.

So the now friendly company was nice. The nurses were nice as well (except two that Farrah spitefully nicknamed ‘the bitches’) and had managed to dig up some board games for the two tigers to play together.

They were capable of sitting up better now and were perched on Farrah’s bed. A chess board was between them, a good number of pieces already removed.

(Of course, neither were as good as they seem. Nightmares were still strong and they were still healing and in pain. But it was better than the first days in the hospital.)

Farrah’s gaze flicked over the board before she moved a rook. “I can’t believe Chess likes chess.” She snickered.

Chess chuckled at that. “Well, it’s been a while since I’ve played, but my dad taught me when I was younger.” She quickly took the rook Farrah just moved, causing Farrah to curse under her breath. Chess met Farrah’s eyes, a smirk on her lips. “Besides, Chess isn’t my full name.”

Farrah looked very interested, having a smirk of her own. “Oh?” She moved a knight.

Chess hummed as she nodded. “But I’m not telling you.” She moved her queen, capturing one of Farrah’s bishops.

Farrah frowned but looked more teasing than angry. “Oh come on!” She captured a knight.

Chess laughed but shook her head. “No thank you! I’m not the biggest fan of my name in the first place. And knowing you, you’d use that against me.”

Farrah kept her gaze locked with Chess after moving another piece. “And what if I didn’t?”

“Checkmate.”

Farrah blinked. Checkmate? That’s what Chess’s name was?! But she just as quickly remembered the game they were playing and quickly looked back down to the board.

Sure enough, Chess had won.

Farrah raised a brow. “Okay, you won. Are you going to tell me your name or not?”

Chess rolled her eyes playfully. “I’m not the biggest fan of my name.” She repeated.

It was strange.

Days ago Farrah had hated Chess. She had despised the Senior with all of her heart. It was Chess who had dropped her, leading to the viral video that made life a living hell.

And yet, here she was, playing chess with the girl she thought she would hate forever.

Farrah was… forgiving her. Something she thought would never happen. Yeah, she hasn’t forgiven her completely, but she was forgiving her more and more each day they spent like this.

She was making a friend out of her former enemy.

It felt good. Farrah wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that.

For a few years now, she had no one. No family (no matter how much she wished for a sister) and no friends. She appeared for parties and practice before vanishing again. She picked fights with her teammates before withdrawing back into her bubble of booze.

And yet, suddenly she was making a friend. Who happened to once be her worst enemy.

God, how did this even happen?

Was it all because of the attempted murder? No, for some reason it felt like it was more than that, even if it contributed and was the catalyst.

(She was almost murdered… by Riley… she was going to be dealing with that trauma for a long time, Farrah knew… it only made her want a strong drink even after her resolution. She wondered how long her resolution would hold up.)

Was it because she didn’t have access to alcohol? Was it because Chess had been through a similar situation? Was it because of the apology?

Farrah didn’t know.

But Farrah… She thinks she likes this. After being alone for so long and after being almost… well, murdered… Farrah thinks having a friend feels nice.

It felt unusual, and Farrah found herself withdrawing, reverting back to anger and depression sometimes. Somehow, Chess knew how to keep calm and talk to Farrah, befriending her just as easily each time the sophomore pulled back from it.

And hey, having someone to help with nightmares felt strange too, but nice.

That’s what it could be described as, strange and maybe even frightening, but nice.

Besides, having one less enemy and one more person in her corner felt almost relieving in a way.

“So you hate your name?” Farrah prodded, continuing the conversation.

Chess shrugged. “It just sounds too fancy to me. Chess is simple and nice.” Chess’s eyes lit up with an idea. “But if someone was to… I dunno… guess my full name, I guess I would have to admit it.”

Farrah’s eyes lit up. “So, if I guessed it, you’d tell me?!” Chess laughed and gave her a nod. Farrah grinned. “Then we have a deal. You’ll be telling me your name soon, Checkmate.”

Chess sighed. “That’s going to stick, isn’t it?”

Farrah smirked. “Until I learn your full name, yeah.”

Chess didn’t look put off by it at all, instead gesturing to the board. “Another round?”

“Hell yeah.” Farrah agreed easily, beginning to reset the black pieces.

They fell into a comforting silence as they began a new game. Moments like this were nice, and in the beginning of their unlikely friendship, they couldn’t help but be confused by it. But it felt rather natural now.

They were halfway through the game when the door opened. It was one of the nurses.

“Miss Fox?”

Farrah and Chess both glanced up at that, pausing their game.

(Farrah’s last name. No matter how horrible her mom had been, she wanted some way to remember her. Why not keep her last name?)

The nurse continued. “Your sister would like to speak with you privately. She did say you could do it in here anyways if you weren’t comfortable.”

There was a pause. Farrah didn’t know why, but she found herself instinctively looking to Chess. Chess met her stare and gave her a tiny shrug.

Farrah frowned and debated for a long moment.

Why was Annleigh appearing now? And wanting to talk with her in private? Even with the nerves Farrah couldn’t help the urge to go see.

“Okay.”

And with that, Farrah found herself being led down the hall, the nurse in front of her chattering and checking on her every few seconds. She was led to a small conference room and the nurse let her inside before closing the door.

Sure enough, there was Annleigh.

The older girl had been pacing and worrying. She turned quickly at the sound of the door and perked up upon seeing Farrah.

“Farrah…” she murmured.

Farrah gave her a wary glare. “Annleigh…”

There was an awkward pause before Annleigh cleared her throat, a nervous smile on her face. “How are you feeling?”

Farrah couldn’t help but instinctively fall back to the old defense mechanism of sarcasm. “Like I got stabbed.”

Annleigh flinched and Farrah cursed under her breath. She always had to fuck shit up, huh?

“Well…” Annleigh took a steadying breath and pressed herself straighter. “I came to apologize.”

Farrah raised an eyebrow. Apologize? “So. You don’t come to visit, and then days after everything, you show up to give me an apology.”

Annleigh heaved a deep sigh. “Farrah, why is it so hard to believe?”

Farrah glared. There’s the disappointment she expected… “you’re kidding, right? First of all, I didn’t hear shit from you until now. And then you never apologize for shit. I’m the one who fucks everything up, you and I both know that.”

“No you don’t—!”

“Then why am I such a disappointment?” Farrah huffed, resting against the table. “Why can I never go a week without a party? Why do I keep messing up routines? Why do our parents always say it?”

“I don’t care what they say anymore—!” Annleigh tried to insist.

“Well you should! Because they're right!”

“Right?! They aren’t good parents, Farrah. And it took me longer than it should’ve to realize that.”

“Maybe they’re right about me. I’m a disappointment, Annleigh.” Farrah muttered dejectedly.

“No—!”

“You said it too, Annleigh!” Farrah’s eyes darkened. “You get in trouble because of me…”

“Farrah, I’m sorry I blamed you for that.” Annleigh whispered, walls cracking. “I never should have. That’s something I’m here to apologize for. Please let me—!”

“You never visited me now did you?!” Farrah snapped. “What, happy that you didn’t have to babysit anymore?! Happy you get more time with Clark?! Bet you would have been happy if I was gone!”

Annleigh gaped at her, pale as a sheet. “Farrah—!”

“Don’t try to lie to me!” Farrah yelled, pressing her hand on the table. “Our parents would have been just as happy too! Who wants a fuck drunk for a family member?! They trust Clark more than they trust me, Annleigh!”

It was like once she started rambling, she couldn’t stop. The floodgate opened and everything pent up came rushing out. “My mother had left and the next thing I knew everything was new! New house, new school, new family! I was already used to having no one and then here you walk in, nice and bubbly and actually wanting me around! I finally had someone willing to actually look at me and not see a disappointment! And then you forgot about me, all for Clark! Suddenly, I had no one! I had no one left and then that damn fall and now this and you never visited or talked to me through any of it besides to yell at me for my fucking drinking! Newsflash, I drink because everything hurts! Didn’t know that, now did you?! All you did was show me that I truly was a disappointment after I finally had hope that I wasn’t one!” Her voice rose to a scream and she slammed her hands down on the table with as much force as she possessed in a weakened state.

“ALL I WANTED WAS A SISTER, ANNLEIGH!”

“FARRAH!”

Farrah froze in her tracks at her sister’s voice, slowly turning her head to meet her eyes. Annleigh’s expression was pale. Her eyes were wide and she looked horrified.

“Farrah…” Annleigh whispered. “I didn’t… I didn’t visit because I was scared.”

Confusion replaced rage. “What?”

“I didn’t visit because I was scared.” Annleigh repeated. “I… I didn’t want to see you, unconscious on that hospital bed… and the last time we saw each other, I… wasn’t the best sister.”

Farrah paused for a moment. This urged Annleigh to continue, eyes filled with desperation. “I was upset and frustrated and I took it out on you. You didn’t deserve that.”

Farrah looked away, clenching her fists. “Maybe… I did deserve that.”

Annleigh shook her head quickly. “No! No you didn’t! I was the one who was in the wrong.”

Farrah slowly shook her head, turning and walking to the door.

“Farrah?” Annleigh asked warily.

“You said it yourself.” Farrah rested her hand on the door handle. “We aren’t sisters…” And with the pain of that statement making stubborn tears fall, Farrah couldn’t stop herself from adding something else.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough.”

But just before she could leave… “Wait!”

Farrah froze in her tracks at the sheer desperation in Annleigh’s voice. Slowly, she glanced backwards, half turning to peer at Annleigh. She only froze further at the sight of the older girl.

Annleigh was crying too. Her hands were folded over her chest and she looked… guilty. She looked guilty and sad.

“I never meant what I said!” Annleigh sobbed out, hands over her chest clenching. “I was angry and we’ve always been fighting… but I was trying to find you to apologize! And then… you were bleeding… I thought you were dead!”

Farrah stared at her, wide eyed. She turned back fully to face Annleigh.

Annleigh continued. “Everything I ever said to you… I never should have said it! I was stressed and our parents weren’t helping! And god I’m just making excuses now but the point is that I’m sorry! I’m so sorry for everything I said…” she looked to the floor, tears still falling and sobbing. “You are my sister. You are my sister and I’m an idiot for everything I said.”

Farrah stared at her, her cheeks still stained with tears. She took a step closer to Annleigh. “You… you aren’t fucking with me?”

Annleigh shook her head. “I’m not joking… I swear I’m not. Farrah, I don’t think I can apologize enough…” She took a step forward, meeting Farrah’s eyes. “Can I hug you?”

Numbly, Farrah nodded.

Immediately, Annleigh was sweeping her into a hug, holding Farrah close. Farrah froze before relaxing, closing her eyes and hiding her face against Annleigh’s shoulder.

Annleigh began to whisper, the hand she had placed on the back of Farrah’s head beginning to rub a soothing circle. “You’re strong… you’re so strong… I’m so proud of you… so, so proud of you… I love you… I’m sorry I never said it before… you will always be my sister… you will always be good enough…”

And right there, in Annleigh’s arms, hearing everything she ever wanted to hear from her sister, Farrah broke down.

She sobbed, latching onto Annleigh like she would vanish. Slowly, Annleigh brought both of them to the floor, wary of Farrah’s injury. She didn’t stop talking, murmuring apologies and soothing words.

Neither knew how long they stayed that way for, only that it was a while.

But soon enough, Annleigh pulled back. She gave Farrah a watery smile, cupping Farrah’s cheeks and using her thumbs to wipe away the tears on her sister’s cheeks.

“You are my sister, Farrah.” Annleigh murmured. “And I’m sorry I never acted like it.”

Farrah stared at her. “Why are you saying this now?”

Annleigh paused before looking away, not meeting Farrah’s eyes. “I really was an idiot, Farrah. I didn’t… I don’t… understand why you drink so much. And our parents punishing me for things you did… It made me resent you. I didn’t understand.” She shakily met Farrah’s eyes again. “But… seeing you on that shower floor, covered in blood and dying… I was coming to apologize to you. I was trying to find you to say sorry. And I almost never got to.”

Annleigh continued before Farrah could speak. “I’m not risking that again. I want to be better to you. I want to be your sister.” She quickly began to ramble again. “But, uhm, I know how I treated you was horrible and I understand if you never want to speak to me again—!”

Farrah leaned forward and pulled Annleigh into a hug again. “I’m going to try and stop drinking.” She whispered.

Annleigh blinked, stunned at that. “What?”

Farrah didn’t pull back from the hug. “Right before Riley… I remember pouring my flask down the drain. I told myself I want to be better. I… I still want to follow that.”

Annleigh returned the hug now. “I will be with you every step of the way, Farrah… I’m proud of you.”

“You mean it?”

“I always have and I always will…”

Both pulled back from the hug again and Annleigh glanced at the nearby clock.

“Why don’t we get you back to your room? You need the rest!” Annleigh said, looking so much lighter than before.

Farrah hummed. “Guess so. The wound is sore.”

Annleigh carefully helped Farrah stand and head out the door. “Well, it’s still healing and you’ve pushed yourself with this…”

“It was worth it.” Farrah said simply. She felt lighter too. Things weren’t perfect, but this has made her day a little more brighter.

Annleigh beamed at that. They soon came to Farrah and Chess’s room, where a nurse swiftly made her way over.

Annleigh gave Farrah one more hug. “From now on, I’m going to visit every day I can.”

Farrah carefully hid her distrust in that statement. Just everything they patched up today doesn’t mean she fully trusted Annleigh. It was only day one. (But hey, it was a start.)

Farrah gave her a nod before the nurse carefully guided her back into her room and to her bed before leaving again.

Chess gave her a gentle smile. “How did it go?”

Farrah didn’t meet Chess’s eyes but Chess could see the tiny smile on Farrah’s face. “It uh…” She finally looked up to Chess. “I think it’s gonna be okay.”

Chess only looked happier at the reply. “I’m happy for you. Would you… like to continue our game?”

Farrah gave a small chuckle. “Yeah, I wanna kick your ass this time, Checkmate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEALING!!! This definitely isn’t the end of the road though...
> 
> Also I really didn’t mean to make the parents that horrible it just kind of happened— and then cut to me realizing they probably wouldn’t let a patient walk down to a room to talk to someone but you know what this is fanfiction it’s okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: flashbacks to attempted murder, courtroom, alcohol/painkiller addiction

It was a few days later that they were finally released from the hospital.

They weren’t completely better, of course. They still had to wear bandages and their injuries were still in pain. But they finally went home.

Being around her parents again wasn’t pleasant. But Farrah mostly stuck to her room. Annleigh would bring her things she needed while Farrah napped most of the day. Farrah was getting more and more capable of walking around and getting what she needed herself though. Occasionally, her parents would bring her something. Once or twice they gave her a quick snap that she could probably get it herself. But it was easy to ignore.

There were also the mental problems that still ground at her brain. Nightmares and trauma were still strong. Every so often, she would wake with a scream. Annleigh was always by her side for those occasions. Her parents always seemed grumpy the next morning after being woken up by her screaming.

If she didn’t wake up screaming but instead gasping for breath, Farrah would go to Annleigh or call Chess. Sometimes, Chess would call her. She had the nightmares too.

Of course, being able to go home also meant it was finally time for Riley’s trial.

Which is why the Tigers, Reese, Clark, and Eva all stood in front of the courtroom.

Every single one of them were filled with nervous energy as they stared at the doors, people walking in and out.

Eventually, it was Kate who sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”

Eva nodded. “She’s right. The faster we go in and face her, the sooner she’ll be in prison.”

Faintly to where no one could hear, Cairo mumbled. “For me, that’s the problem.”

But everyone knew Kate and Eva were right. They couldn’t hesitate anymore or they would back out. So, the group made their way through the doors and down the hall, guided by employees.

And soon enough, they reached the courtroom.

There was a pause.

But one by one, the group began to file inside, breathe catching in their chests at what they were about to do and see.

Before they could go any further after the others, Chess gently took hold of Farrah’s arm. “Farrah.”

The sophomore stopped in her tracks, blinking confused back at Chess.

Seeing the confusion, Chess continued. “I think… When we go up there, we tell the truth about the drugs and alcohol.”

Farrah pursed her lips, staring at Chess. “Seriously?”

Chess slowly nodded. “I don’t want to either. But I think we need to.”

“We don’t have to, Chess.”

“Look, Farrah. If we come clean, then we’re going to get in trouble. I’m not going to disagree with that.” Chess admitted, gaze trailing nervously to the ground. “Mattie’s getting off light, you and I both know that. Cairo made her drink and she has a clean record besides the sleepover. She probably won’t even be punished. You and I on the other hand? We’ve done a lot more than Mattie has.”

Chess met Farrah’s eyes again. “But Farrah, if we don’t tell them, I don’t think Riley will be put away.”

Farrah glared at her. “You’re joking right? Look at how much evidence is against her!”

Chess sighed, turning away from Farrah and beginning to pace slightly. “I know… but the others are most likely going to tell them about our addictions. And I… I don’t want to risk it. I don’t want to risk her getting out where she can finish what she started.”

A hand taking a gentle grip of her wrist stopped Chess. She stared back at Farrah.

“Okay.” Farrah nodded slowly, but she looked nervous. “Okay, you’re right. I don’t… she can’t get out. And… we can look at it like a first step towards getting better… I guess.”

Chess let out a relieved breath. “Yeah… first step towards getting better.” She moved their hands so she was holding Farrah’s hand instead of the other girl holding her wrist. “We’re in this together.”

“Together.” Farrah repeated with a steady nod.

And then, with anxiety flooding their veins, they followed the path the others had taken.

The courtroom was filled with whispers. Their parents were in the crowd along with complete strangers. Even cameras had been set up, this case was the talk of the town. It had even made national news.

Farrah’s unease only grew at the sight of the cameras and people. But she sat down with Annleigh and Chess on either side of her, the other tigers with them as well, and she felt a little bit better.

That was thrown out the window when a familiar red haired girl in an orange jumpsuit was escorted in.

Riley swiftly turned her attention to the Tigers. She met their gazes one by one. Each of them felt a chill crawl up their spines. Cairo and Riley’s gazes stayed locked longer than the other tigers.

All Farrah could see was a knife. A knife and crazed eyes lunging towards her. Riley’s expression now was a cold stare that made Farrah squirm and swiftly turn her gaze away. Chess and Annleigh both pressed a little closer in comfort, Kate remaining just as close to Chess and Eva. In fact, all the tigers were staying close in the face of their old Cheer Captain.

Soon enough, the judge walked in, and the trial began.

It started with announcing the case, of course. Then, they went into the evidence. The knife, DNA, clothing.

And following that was the witness testimonies of every teen sitting together. One by one, everyone went up and gave their testimony.

The others’ testimonies passed as a blur. Farrah remembered flinching and feeling a phantom pain on her stomach whenever someone mentioned finding her in the shower.

The only one she was very tuned into was Chess’s. Her and Chess were saved for last as the victims, and Chess went first.

Chess did as they agreed to do. She confessed to getting high on painkillers before she was stabbed and confessed that she’s done it before. The entire courtroom, except the tigers, seemed shocked.

“So you’ve been getting high off painkillers for a while before that night?”

Chess had pursed her lips at the question, keeping her cool. “Yes, sir. But I know what I saw that night.”

The lawyer had nodded. “Yes, but you confess to doing illegal activities yourself.”

“Yeah, I confess to it.” A cold fury was in Chess’s eyes at that. “But what you’re trying to do is deflect off a murderer’s crime and put the focus on mine. I own up to what I’ve done and I’ll gladly let the court deal with me later. But right now? Right now I am looking at the person who tried to kill me and my friend. She’s the one who needs to be focused on right now.”

The lawyer had swiftly backed down after that.

And then, it was Farrah's turn.

“I would now like to call our final witness to the stand. As well as the second victim. Miss Fox, please come up to the stand.”

The walk up to the stand felt long and like she was walking to her death. Cameras clicked as they recorded her, only bringing back dizzy memories. Everyone’s gazes were locked onto her.

Riley’s burned the most.

She was swiftly sworn in as she stood at the stand. Farrah resolutely looked away from Riley.

“Now then, miss Fox, please give us your account of what happened that night.” The judge stated.

Farrah hesitated. Her eyes met her parents’. They were giving her an expectant stare. She glanced to Chess, who slowly nodded and mouthed, ‘I believe in you.’

Farrah straitened and refused to hesitate anymore. “Before the cheerleading sleepover, I had been at a party. I had gotten drunk to the point where I couldn’t walk straight.”

Immediately, murmurs flew around the room. Her parents were glaring at her and no matter how tough Farrah tried to remain she couldn’t help but flinch slightly at the sight. But upon glancing to the other tigers and catching proud and encouraging nods Farrah relaxed slightly.

This was the right choice.

“So you had been under the influence at the time?”

The judge quickly intercepted the lawyer. “Sir, I asked to hear her side of the story.” He looked back to Farrah. “Continue…”

Farrah tried to keep her voice steady, refusing to look anyone in the eye. “At the sleepover I kind of remember arguing. I think it was about the viral video and that I was drunk.”

The judge gently but sternly interjected. “Can you please clarify what you mean by viral video, miss Fox?”

Farrah anxiously bit her lip. “Last year, Chess dropped me during a tournament. I got a concussion out of it and I’ve been angry at her ever since.” Farrah glanced to Chess. “We’ve made up since… that night.”

The judge gave her a nod so Farrah continued where she left off. “I had gone off on my own and fought with Annleigh before throwing up in the bathroom. I remember talking to Reese… I…” Things began to get shaky as memories rushed back.

The judge had to speak her name three times before he could call her back to attention. “Miss Fox… do you need a minute?”

Farrah straightened, plastering on a small glare. “I’m fine. Reese left. I poured my alcohol down the toilet. Riley came in and stabbed me.” A deeply simplified version, but panic was still hazing her mind and she tried to channel it into anger and Farrah just wanted out of this stuffy room with too many cameras too many people and her attempted murderer—

As she shook herself out of it, the lawyer had requested permission to question her on the stand. Farrah zoned back in at his first question.

“Miss Fox, you say you were drunk at the night of the sleepover, what are the chances everything you’re remembering is wrong?”

Farrah bristled and she couldn’t help but bite back. “I know what I remember is right. You heard it in other testimonies if you want proof.”

The lawyer pursed his lips as he nodded. “Tell the court, have you gotten drunk before that night?”

There it is.

And unlike Mattie but like Chess, Farrah knew what she was about to confess wouldn’t get her a slap on the wrist.

“Yes sir. I would go to parties at least weekly and I carried around a bottle and flask of booze.”

There were more murmurs and the lawyer smirked triumphantly. It was like he discovered a victory. “So then, you’re a criminal yourself?”

Outrage sparked from the assembled tigers but they stayed in their seats. The crowd's mumbles became louder and the judge was quickly tapping his gavel. Clearly, the lawyer hadn’t learned his lesson from what happened with Chess.

Farrah looked the lawyer dead in the eye. “Want to know something else I remember from the sleepover?” The lawyer’s face fell to confusion. “I remember pouring the rest of my alcohol down the drain in that bathroom. I remember telling myself right before that I was going to get better and stop drinking.”

Farrah looked away from him and finally looked to Riley. The former cheer captain met her gaze and all Farrah could see was a knife and a monster. “I almost never got the chance to.”

The courtroom fell completely silent. No one in the room knew how to respond to this.

The lawyer was scrambling for a foothold. “You… I would bet that you drink for fun! Teenagers always drink for no reason!”

Even the judge seemed taken off guard by that statement. Several people cried out against that and the judge had to tap his gavel again.

The judge glared down at the lawyer. “We are here for a trial, Mr. Jones! Not bigoted statements.”

And something in his statement made something in Farrah snap.

She didn’t like sharing her feelings and emotions. She didn’t like being vulnerable. People would take and shift it and mold it and use it against you. They would mock you for it.

But she wasn’t going to let her experiences be put down.

“Then you clearly haven’t experienced hell.”

Deathly quiet followed Farrah’s too calm statement. (Looking at her eyes, you could catch a glimpse of a broken soul. The lawyer did.)

The lawyer was white as a sheet and he quickly broke eye contact with Farrah, sitting back down and searching his papers. “I… I have no further questions.”

The prosecutor asked some questions, much more polite than the lawyer. And then, Farrah was allowed back to her seat. She sagged in relief, the other tigers giving her reassuring whispers before the quieted.

The judge had turned his attention back to Riley.

“Miss Williams… a tremendous case has been brought against you today. Do you have any defense for yourself?”

There was a long pause and Riley tilted her head as she spoke. “Mr Judge, what I did was for the good of the tigers!”

Even hearing her scream it back in the house didn’t stop the shock of that statement to the team. They all pursed their lips and went pale. Farrah didn’t realize she was bouncing her leg, inhaling deeply and clenching her fists tights until Chess and Annleigh took hold of a hand and placed a hand on her knee respectively.

Chess looked just as panicked, Kate leaning over and beginning to whisper reassurances.

The judge looked surprised too, raising a brow. “What exactly do you mean by this, Miss Williams?”

Riley turned her smile to the Tigers and it swiftly dipped into a frown with cold eyes. “The team is known as the worst team ever. That little fall Farrah and Chess mentioned? It only ruined us further. And I refuse to be a failure any longer.” Her smile came back, looking insane and everyone felt sickened (Cairo felt her heart twist right in her chest at the sight). “So what do you do when you have cancer?! You cut out the tumors! You cut out those bringing you down!”

The team pressed closer together in their seats as Riley rambled. But eventually, the judge cut her off, tapping his gavel.

He observed her closely with a deep sigh. “Riley Williams, in the face of this evidence against you, do you plead guilty to the planned attempted murder of two people?”

Riley straightened again, face clean of any smile. “I do.”

From there, there was a stretch of time. Judge and jury had to reach a decision. But soon enough, they all reentered the room.

The judge stared down at Riley. “Miss Williams, what you tried to do is monstrous. You had your life ahead of you and you tried to kill two of your teammates. For the premeditated attempted murder of two people, this court sentences you to life sentence in jail. In addition you will be receiving visits from a therapist and mental professionals.”

The breath that had been trapped squeezing on Farrah’s chest was finally released. Pure relief flooded Farrah and she sunk back into her chair.

The room was filled with chatter but the tigers were silent, stuck staring right at Riley.

They were met with a cold stare.

Given her sentence, Riley was escorted from the room. But instead of dismissing the tigers after the hearing was done, the judge looked over to them.

“Well, while we’re all here, I believe we have one more case to discuss.” The judge said, looking through his papers. “Miss Fox, Miss Evans. Will the two of you please take the stand?”

And just like that, everyone felt their hearts drop.

The recorder looked up to the judge. “Sir, this isn’t on the list…”

The judge gave her a nod as Chess and Farrah made their way to the stand, staying at each other’s sides. “No, no it isn’t. But they are already here and I figured we should give them a fair and speedy trial after all they’ve been through. They deserve rest rather than another trial looming over their heads.”

The judge peered at the both of them, chin perched on his hands. “Now then, while you two are here I believe there is something else the court should address. Miss Wheeler got off rather easy, she has only ever drunk that night and it wasn’t necessarily by her choice. On the other hand, you two have been drinking and getting high long before that night.”

Another member of the court blinked wide eyed at him. “Sir, they don’t have lawyers—!”

The judge placated them. “I don’t think this requires a lawyer but I will definitely give them the choice. Ladies, would you two like to be represented by a lawyer?”

Farrah and Chess shared a glance with each other.

“All due respect sir, but you’ve already heard our crimes.” Chess said, Farrah nodding along. “I don’t think we need a lawyer by this point.”

The judge hummed, writing something down. “Very well. Let me see, the charges against you that you both admit to during the earlier hearings are underage drinking and illegal use of medication. I doubt you two have anything else you would like to confess while you are here?”

“No, sir.” It was a mumbled chorus from Chess and Farrah.

“Very good then.” The judge said almost absently, looking up to the two of them again. “Now, the usual punishment would be high fines of even up to two thousand dollars if the offense is large enough.”

Chess and Farrah both paled upon hearing that number and the Judge swiftly continued, pulling down his glasses slightly and meeting both of their eyes.

“But hearing your earlier accounts of the recent trauma in your lives and your declarations of wanting to stop getting drunk and high gives me the room to consider a more lenient fine.” He leaned back in his chair again, in a more relaxed position. “So, to prove this idea, why don’t we just talk? Talk to me about why you have addictions.”

Farrah and Chess both blinked at him. Everyone else in the room seemed surprised too. “What?” The former asked.

The judge chuckled. “You two seem like pleasant people, no matter how much you drink or pills you take. Many people have reasons for drinking and taking drugs, especially young people like yourselves. So, talk to me. I want to hear your stories before I reach any verdict.”

Farrah crossed her arms, glancing back at everyone seated in the crowd. “To be frank, sir, I’m not sure I want to talk with a lot of people here.”

The judge nodded slowly. “I understand. I would be wary too. But it wouldn’t be in my good conscience to punish you two heavily after… the last case we heard.”

Before Farrah could form a reply, Chess stepped forward, inhaling deeply and fists clenched by her side.

“Sir, Farrah and I refuse to talk about our private lives and problems in front of all these people. But what we will say is that we plan on getting better.” Chess declared, anxiety tinting her voice even as it remained strong. “We know what we did is illegal and we accept the punishment, but we will be getting better.”

Farrah found her own feet moving on their own accord to stand by Chess’s side. She stared the judge right in the eyes. Her body and voice were moving on autopilot before Farrah could fully catch up. “I was drunk to the point where I could hardly think before… that. But what I do remember is that I poured my flask down the drain and told myself I would be better. And after nearly dying before I could become a better person, I fully intend on following that.”

There were mutters from the crowd. Good and bad, shocked and understanding. The judge was observing both of them closely. The other tigers were staring in a range of emotion.

The judge leaned back in his chair, writing something down with a sad sort of smile.

“I like to believe myself a fair man.” The judge adjusted his glasses and fixed the smile onto them. “You two told me and this entire courtroom yourselves that you plan on dealing with your addictions. My brother dealt with an addiction and I have seen many broken addicts in this courtroom, you two only adding to that list.” He leaned forward again. “And while I may not have dealt with it personally, I know that it can, frankly, be hell. Unfortunately, underage drinking and use of painkillers are still illegal offenses.”

Both tensed, as did every Tiger in their chair.

But the judge had a twinkle in his eyes as he continued. “I could see your sincerity when you told me you want to get better. And considering everything you’ve been through with Miss Williams on top of that… I will be reducing your fines to one hundred and fifty dollars for each of you.”

Chess and Farrah turned to each other, stunned. But then their faces split into relieved grins and before Farrah could process, Chess was pulling her into a tight hug. Farrah froze for a moment before she slowly returned it.

Sure, a hundred and fifty dollars wasn’t the best. But it sure as hell was better than the alternatives.

And a few minutes later, the Tigers were walking out. None of them were cheering, but an air of relief had washed over the group and they were all smiling.

“Hey.” Eva spoke up, earning everyone’s attention. “Since all of that is over, I have some good news.”

“Yeah?” Cairo asked, pulling her head up from where she had been staring at the ground.

Eva straightened a little. “I was accepted into a scholarship from Giles Corey. I’m a part of your team now.”

Everyone stared at her with wide eyes.

Kate sounded ecstatic as she fully faced Eva. “Eva, that’s amazing!”

Eva beamed back at her. Cairo spoke again, head tilted. “You know you probably won’t be seeing another trophy, yeah?”

Eva shrugged. “It's a hobby anyways. I get to be with you guys and your school has a good climatology program. That’s all I need.”

Reese jumped in, standing straight and a nervous look on her face. “I was accepted to the tigers too!”

Everyone only seemed more happy by that.

“Hey, it’s about time!” Farrah gave Reese a smirk, earning a beaming smile in return.

“I’m so happy for the both of you!” Annleigh said from beside Clark, holding his hand. “Welcome to the tigers!”

That was followed by a chorus of agreements. Hearing such good news after such a depressing day was a full relief.

“Well while we’re talking about accomplishments…” Cairo spoke up too. “Ladies, and Clark I guess, you’re looking at your new cheer captain.”

Mattie looked delighted by all of the good news she was hearing. “Congrats, Cairo!” The mood fell again as she gained an anxious look. “Uhm… I’m sorry about Riley…”

Cairo shook her head. “Don’t.” She intercepted immediately, meeting each person’s eyes. “Yes, I’m upset over Riley. Yes, I’m mad she’s going to prison. But what she did? That deserves a prison sentence. I’m not going to excuse her or what you went through because she was my best friend. Riley’s changed. I’ll be fine.”

And for some reason… the entire group had a feeling she wasn’t going to get better for a while. But really, they didn’t think any of them would be alright for a while.

Farrah cleared her throat. “I meant what I said back there. I’m going to get better.” She wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes.

“I will too.” Chess said, she carefully reached over and took Farrah’s hand. After the day’s events, Farrah didn’t try to stop her. “We’ll do it together.”

“I know you will. You two can do this and we’ll be with you.” Clark looked proud of the both of them. In fact, everyone looked proud of them.

They drifted off before Cairo sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Look… after all of that, I need some alone time.”

Everyone looked understanding. Actually, they looked like they agreed.

“Don’t let us stop you!” Reese said before sighing. “I think I do too…”

“Why don’t we all head home?” Kate offered the group. “And just… relax if we can.”

There was a wide agreement among the group of nine. So, they all split up, agreeing to contact each other tonight or tomorrow to make sure everyone was safe.

Farrah found herself in the backseat of Clark’s truck. Clark and Annleigh were both silent in the front seat.

Farrah had pulled out her sketchbook and put in her earbuds, a melody playing into her ears as she began to sketch whatever came to mind (only later would she realize it was Riley’s face from the trial. She liked to hang up sketches on her walls. That one didn’t join them. Not even the ones in the darkest corner of her room that were sketches of the fall, a shaded figure looking depressed and alone holding a familiar flask, and more). Farrah always sketches when she gets overwhelmed or stressed. It was an outlet.

She didn’t want to think about anything that happened right now.

~~||~~||~~

Later that night, Annleigh was awake in her room, she laid in bed and stared up at the bland ceiling (sometimes she wished she had light up stars like Farrah’s did, it always seemed comforting, as did the hundreds of sketches Farrah had covering her walls. Occasionally Annleigh would steal some of Farrah’s sketches and hang them on her small billboard full of those sketches and photos).

Annleigh couldn’t stop thinking about the trial. Well, the trial and what the future might hold.

There was relief. Riley couldn’t hurt the team anymore, no matter how painful it had been to see her sit there with a blank expression and smiles before being taken away. Farrah and Chess weren’t punished as harshly as they could have been.

There was worry. The tigers were going to try and start being friends now, what if that went wrong? What if she pushed Farrah away again? What was going to happen when they returned to school to rumors and whispers?

But there was also hope. Hope that now the tigers could forge friendships. Hope that things with Farrah were going to heal. Hope that they could push past the rumors now that they all had each other like they said they would.

Annleigh was a very anxious person. She got anxious over many things, even little things. And this only added into that pile.

So she sat there and dwelled in her anxiety. Every so often, her breathing and heart rate would pick up when she got too anxious. But using the breathing exercises Clark used with her, Annleigh managed to calm herself back down.

(Sometimes, Annleigh wondered if Riley had anxiety… she had wanted to talk to her about it, but just the thing in question she wanted to talk about halted her in her tracks. Now, she feels a little bit of guilt. What would have happened if she did talk to Riley before she could break and do what she did?)

Annleigh has just calmed herself down again when she was snapped from her thoughts.

Her door was creaking open. Followed by a figure slowly peeking in. “Annleigh?” She called softly. “Are you awake?”

Annleigh recognized Farrah’s voice immediately and she sat up. “Farrah? Are you okay?”

Worries ran through her head. Did something happen? Did Farrah hurt herself? Her injury was still healing after all.

Farrah padded to the foot of the bed, rubbing her arm anxiously. “I had a nightmare.” She was resolutely looking away from Annleigh. “I almost went down to the kitchen but you said I could come to you…”

Annleigh knew exactly what Farrah meant when she mentioned the kitchen. In reality, she meant the wine cabinet.

“Come here?” Annleigh asked, pulling up the covers.

Farrah hesitated slightly. God, how long has it been since they’ve done something like this? But just as quickly as she hesitated did Farrah join Annleigh in the bed.

Annleigh pulled Farrah closer and soon began to run her hands through Farrah’s hair which was out of its usual braids. It was relaxing to the both of them, something for Annleigh to put anxious energy into and something that soothed Farrah.

“Is this okay?” Annleigh murmured, knowing how touchy Farrah could be about being vulnerable.

“Mmm, yeah…” Farrah whispered, relaxed and eyes drifting shut.

“I’m sorry you had a nightmare… and I’m sorry this all ever happened to you… but you’re safe now…” Annleigh whispered, reassuring Farrah. “I couldn’t sleep either… anxiety…”

Truth be told, having someone next to her and being able to play with Farrah’s hair was helping calm her down slightly.

“Are you okay?” Farrah asked immediately.

Annleigh gave her a smile. “I’m okay. Breathing techniques help.”

Farrah hummed and then Annleigh felt Farrah’s arm carefully draped itself over her side in a loose hug.

“I’m fine.” Annleigh said again, carefully hiding the small waver in her voice. “I’m here now if you want to go back to sleep…”

Farrah huffed an acknowledgment and they drifted off into silence.

Annleigh remembered when they would do things like this as kids. One of them would have a nightmare and they would be at each other’s aid in a second. It was bittersweet, seeing it happen again after the tragedy they’ve been through. But it gave Annleigh hope that they really were sisters again.

“Annleigh?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry…”

“Farrah… it’s not you who should be sorry, it’s me…” Annleigh didn’t stop playing with Farrah’s hair, anxiety rising slightly but the motion helping her calm. “I should have listened to you more… but let’s not talk about that right now, we’re both tired. We’re going to be better now, and I am so, so happy that you trusted me enough to come to me…”

Farrah didn’t open her eyes. “You’re my sister… course I trust you.” Her voice was slurred slightly by sleep.

Annleigh stared down at her sadly. “You couldn’t before, but now you always can.”

Farrah was already asleep.

Annleigh smiled fondly and pressed a small kiss to Farrah’s forehead. “I will never leave you again…”

No. No she wouldn’t. Not after all she learned she had put Farrah though and certainly not after the pain of almost losing her permanently.

Their history as fighting sisters would never repeat, Annleigh would make sure of it herself.

And with that thought in mind, Annleigh finally drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it obvious that I don’t know much about law and court systems? ...... Just a bit.
> 
> Probably should mention now (no matter how probably obvious it is, I got anxious) that there is a lot of stuff happening in between and also in the background. This is mostly revolving around Farrah and as such we follow her. So we don’t really see how the others are healing, more so that they are.
> 
> And hey, maybe you wouldn’t forgive a person so easily like Farrah has with Chess and Annleigh and really like the entire team has with each other... but wanting to make amends after almost losing your life/someone in your life seems reasonable to me.
> 
> And besides, who says Farrah fully trusts them just yet?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: nightmares, injuries, panic attack, bullying, flashbacks, mentioned drinking/relapse

The sun was setting over the O’Daniel household.

But not everyone was home. The parents were out. Farrah was asleep upstairs in her bed. And Annleigh sat downstairs on the couch. But Farrah wasn’t fully healed and after everything their parents were wary to let them stay home alone. So, they asked Clark to come stay with Farrah and Annleigh while they were out, trusting the boy and leaving the unspoken warning to Annleigh and Clark.

So, while Clark messed around in the kitchen for a moment, Annleigh sat on the couch, trapped in her thoughts.

She was thinking about everything happening.

Arms around her shoulders and a kiss against her neck pulled Annleigh from her thoughts.

“You’re thinking again.” Clark hummed as he pulled away.

Annleigh pressed herself back into his chest, angling her head to look up at him. “Oh Clark… I can't stop thinking… everything is happening at once.”

“Talk to me?” Clark rounded the couch and sat at Annleigh’s side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Annleigh happily leaned into the warmth.

But that happiness faded quickly as she began to think about all of it again.

“Well, Riley.” Annleigh sighed. “I think… that’s an answer enough.” Clark stayed silent, letting her continue. “And Farrah’s struggling, I know. I just… I still feel so guilty for everything I told her.”

“Hey, hey…” Clark gently cut her off, squeezing her hand. “You’re more than making it up to her. You two are the closest I’ve ever seen you…”

“I know… I just still can’t forget what I told her.” Annleigh whispered, clearly filled with guilt.

“And that’s okay… it means you want to make amends.” Clark gave her a smile. “In my opinion though, you’re doing great with her.”

Annleigh laughed slightly. “Thank you…”

“Is there more?”

“Our parents have been… more strict than usual.” Annleigh looked confused herself.

Clark teasingly raised a brow. “Oh boy, here I thought they couldn’t get stricter.”

“Clark!” Annleigh swatted at his arm. Clark laughed and that only made Annleigh laugh too. Soon their laughter subsided and Annleigh continued. “I keep seeing that night too… Farrah in the shower…”

Clark hugged her close. “I know, babe… I know… and that… it’s going to stick with you for a long time. But I promise you, she is safe and upstairs where nothing can hurt her.” Clark soothed, pressing gentle kisses to Annleigh’s face as he talked.

Annleigh hummed happily at the feeling. “Healing takes time. I know.”

“Yeah, and hey!” Clark gave her a beaming smile. “Look how far you’ve come already! You and the other tigers are actually getting along!”

Annleigh laughed. “God really gave me a miracle there! And… it feels like we were all meant to be friends this entire time…” Annleigh had a fond smile on her face. “We just had… issues… to deal with.”

Clark smiled. “And they’ve been mostly dealt with. I’m happy you have those girls.”

Annleigh’s eyes sparkled as she met Clark’s eyes, a teasing grin on her face. “You know, you’re considered part of the group too, actually. Cairo even said you’re always welcome.”

Clark laughed at the news. “So I’m a member of the squad now?”

“Honorary.” Annleigh agreed with a chuckle of her own. “You’re welcome with us tigers anytime. They trust you.”

“Then I’ll happily be a member.” Clark locked eyes with Annleigh.

“Even if it’s a bunch of girls?”

“Hey, you know I only have eyes for you.” Clark said, complete sincerity in his voice and gaze. “Besides, I honestly think I would fit in better there than with my old group. I don’t care what they say.”

Annleigh smiled sadly. “I don’t think they even counted as friends, Clark.”

Clark shrugged, but he didn’t seem bothered. “Oh, they didn’t. That’s why I’ll happily start hanging out with all of you.”

Annleigh beamed up at him. But her smile dimmed. “Uhm, one last thing?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I never got to answer your question…”

“Oh…” Clark’s eyes widened with realization. “Oh!”

Annleigh twisted so she fully faced him. “Clark, I love you and I want to be with you the rest of my life… but don’t you think it’s a little early for marriage?”

Clark shifted nervously. “Well, we have been together for all this time… so I just thought…”

“I’m not saying no!” Annleigh said quickly upon seeing the dejected look on his face. “It’s just, we’re still in high school. If it’s okay with you, I want to wait a bit longer before we take that step…”

Clark smiled fondly at her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “It’s perfectly alright with me… I’m sorry I pushed it so fast.”

“Don’t be sorry, I’m so, so happy you love me so much and I love you just as much.” Annleigh told him. “... so, can we wait until after we graduate at least?” Annleigh asked, a sheepish smile on her face.

Clark grinned at her. “Of course we can, babe. I’ll always wait as long as you need me to.”

Annleigh pressed a kiss to his jaw. “How did I get blessed with someone like you?”

Clark held her hands gently. “You stole my line!” He playfully whined. Annleigh giggled at the joke, opening her mouth to speak but was cut off by an outside source.

There was a scream and both teens jolted to their feet. Annleigh hardly hesitated before rushing up the stairs. Clark stayed close behind her.

Both of them recognized it. It haunted them.

Annleigh shoved Farrah’s bedroom door open. Sure enough, Farrah was on her bed. She was shaking her head feebly, speaking frantically. Sweat beaded her face and her eyes were squeezed shut. She was trembling and tangling the covers with her twisting movements.

Farrah was asleep. She was having a nightmare.

It was Clark who took control of the situation. Annleigh was stuck in shock, back at the door. She had seen Farrah have nightmares, but never this severe.

Clark was swiftly by Farrah’s bedside. He didn’t touch her, fearing she would lash out. Instead, he began to talk.

“Farrah, it’s Clark.”

“You’re home, Farrah, you’re safe.”

“Riley’s in jail… You’re having a nightmare.”

Clark’s voice was calm and steady through the next minute or two. Until finally, Farrah jolted awake.

Her eyes were wide and terrified and she was scrambling, pressing herself into the corner. Clark didn’t move, only moving his hands up to a placating position.

There was a long pause, Farrah registering Clark beside her bed and Annleigh standing in the doorway. The panic still thrummed wildly in her chest.

Clark and Farrah locked eyes. Hands still raised, Clark whispered, “you’re safe now…”

Farrah slowly relaxed. But some fear was still present and the fear that had left was replaced by shame and anger at herself.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and hid her face behind them, breathing heavily and not bothering to hide the shaky sobs.

Clark moved up, sitting on the side of the bed. “Hey… can I hug you?”

Farrah only shook her head and Clark nodded, not bothered by the negative reply. “Alright… was it… was it Riley?”

Farrah’s breathing hitched and she ever so slowly nodded. “Y… yeah…”

“Okay, I’m sorry for asking…” Clark murmured. “You’re safe now…”

He looked back to Annleigh. She was staring at him and Farrah wide eyed. Clark slowly tilted his head and Annleigh nodded, hesitantly moving from the doorway and heading downstairs.

“Annleigh’s going to go get us some stuff… is there anything I can do?” Clark asked, voice still low and soothing.

Farrah didn’t give him any kind of response this time. She didn’t know what he could do…

They drifted into silence as Farrah calmed her racing breathing and calmed her tears. Now that the panic and pain in her chest from hyperventilating vanished, Farrah registered a new pain.

A jolting pain was in her stomach, right where the familiar, still healing, stab wound laid. She hissed at the feeling, moving a hand from her knees to her stomach.

“Weak.” Farrah couldn’t help but spat in a whisper.

It was directed at herself.

She couldn’t fight back against Riley. She couldn’t be a good sister. She couldn’t stop drinking. She couldn’t stop hurting people. She couldn’t keep herself from panicking. She couldn’t keep her stupid brain from seeing that night over and over and over.

She was weak. Weak weak weak—!

“You aren’t weak…”

Farrah snapped her head up to stare at Clark. Pure worry was in Clark’s eyes.

Farrah’s face twisted into a glare. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Clark gave her a sad smile. “You called yourself weak… you aren’t.”

Farrah’s glare didn’t leave. “Then what the hell else am I?”

“I think you’re the strongest person I know.” Clark said softly. He continued before Farrah could argue against him. “You’re clever and smart. You’ve been through so much… everything that came out of the viral video. Dealing with an addiction. A… less than stellar home environment. And now… all of this. A nightmare doesn’t make you weak, you’re still healing from all of this… that’s okay. Healing takes time, that’s all.”

Farrah stared at him, wide eyed. She opened and closed her mouth, trying to find a response. “I… I’m not…”

Clark has that familiar knowing look in his eyes. Sometimes, Farrah wished she could see his mind. So knowing and constantly positive.

“You are. I promise you are.”

Farrah and Clark held each other’s stares for a moment longer before Farrah looked away with a deep breath. Slowly… “I think I hurt my stomach. Where… you know…”

Clark only smiled at her. Maybe he shouldn’t be smiling, Farrah was hurt. But she was willing to open up and tell him that. It was enough reason to smile.

He was about to agree when Annleigh walked back in with drinks and snacks balanced on a makeshift tray. “I grabbed some cookies too.” She explained with a tiny smile.

Clark grinned at her. “Thanks, babe. Hey, Farrah might have hurt her stomach and I don’t know where you keep your kit.” Clark alerted her.

“I’ll go get it!” Annleigh said quickly at that news, vanishing from the room again.

Farrah swallowed thickly, letting Clark hand her the glass of water. It was refreshing after a nightmare. She was still jumpy, the pain in her stomach only keeping her panic up.

Ever so slowly, she looked to Clark, but not meeting his eyes. “Clark?”

“Yeah?” Clark asked, carefully taking the glass back from Farrah’s hand and putting it on the table.

Farrah looked away from him. “Can… is your offer still up for a hug?” She asked hesitantly. Part of her was saying this was a mistake. The larger part of her, bolstered by fear and pain and Clark’s earlier words, wanted to be held.

Clark beamed at her. “Of course it is.” He sat on the bed next to her and then pulled her into a side embrace with one arm. Farrah gradually untensed with a deep sigh, pressing her face further against his shoulder. “You can sleep if you want…”

“Stomach still hurts…” Farrah muttered.

“Then let's take a look at it.” Annleigh murmured, back by their side again with the kit in hand.

Luckily, it was easily bandaged and didn’t require a hospital visit. So they wrapped her stomach and gave her painkillers. By the time they had finished, Farrah was falling back asleep again.

She tried to keep her eyes open. She didn’t want another nightmare. She didn’t want to bother Annleigh and Clark again. She… she didn’t want to be weak again…

Clark and Annleigh had gotten her back in bed. At some point, both had laid down with her, on either side. Both had her in a hug, Annleigh soothingly rubbing her hand over Farrah’s forehead.

“You can sleep, Farrah… we’ll both be here with you…”

Farrah felt so tired… She was warm and comfortable and filled with an overwhelming sense of safety. So, she drifted off, sleep reaching her easily with the comfort surrounding her.

Farrah didn’t have another nightmare that night.

(Annleigh and Farrah’s parents were pissed upon finding all three in the same bed, even when they explained the situation and were clearly still clothed. None of the three could find themselves caring about the parents’ anger, even Annleigh after a few minutes of calming down.)

~~||~~||~~

Going back to school was not exciting in the least.

Farrah’s mostly healed injury still hurts sometimes. And her anxiety had increased tenfold upon realizing that everyone knew.

Everyone knew about her almost death.

The story had been on the news, everyone at school would know about what happened to her and Chess.

The night Farrah realized that she couldn’t stop herself from drinking. She had sat on the kitchen floor, her parents out. She had sobbed and shook under the new pressure, not even the alcohol helping.

Because she was going to become the gossip of the school. She probably already was. And this time it wasn’t for a fall or even her drinking habits. It was because she had almost been murdered.

Farrah didn’t know if she could deal with it. The stares, the gossip, the questions.

Because that was how it worked. No one cares about how you felt about it, if you were stable enough to talk about it. No, they only wanted a story.

Luckily, Annleigh had found her after she had only drunk half of one bottle instead of three or even five.

There was a long talk. Farrah had smashed the bottle at some point. But Annleigh had talked her down. It was another night spent with Annleigh from there.

It was also Annleigh who convinced her to come back to school. Which is why she was now standing in front of her locker.

It was the end of the day. A day that had been hell.

She could feel the stares. Teachers and students alike. The teachers suddenly seemed much more wary of her, one gushing to her asking if she was alright. Students constantly asked what had happened that night. Farrah had a panic attack at one point due to all of it, and from that point the day was muddled and blurry.

Farrah was tired, anxious, and just wanted to get away.

(She wouldn’t deny the thoughts of turning back to the emptiness of drunkenness again. Maybe that’s how she would live her life, running away through making herself blank.)

But as she closed her locker door, it seemed the God Annleigh held so dear had other plans for her.

“If it isn’t the drunk bitch.” The teen boy grinned at her. “Been to any parties after your little incident?”

Nick Redford. Senior and linebacker for the football team. Also an asshole who could never keep his mouth shut and loved blackmail.

Nick laughed. “This is the greatest news since your little fall!” He tapped her on the side of the head and Farrah huffed, fist clenching. “How’s your head doing? Then again I guess you’re always out of it.”

“Fuck off, Nick.” Farrah glared at him.

“Hell no!” Nick laughed. Farrah glared at him and the staring student body. “I want to know what went down…”

Farrah inhaled deeply. “You’ve seen the news, asshole.”

Nick grinned maliciously. “And I want to know it from you. What did you do to make little Miss Riley snap?”

Tumor.

It rang on repeat in the back of Farrah’s mind. She was a tumor. A tumor that needed to be cut out.

“That… it’s none of your damn business!” Farrah bristled, backing up.

“Your team is a disgrace. You are a disgrace!” Nick tilted his head. “What’s one more rumor tacked onto the drunk sophomore who can’t keep her pants on and helped ruin the school’s reputation.”

Farrah froze at his words.

He was right. She was already drowning in rumors. The fall and concussion. Her drinking. The parties.

She was the school’s laughingstock. She was the one who dragged the team down.

(She couldn’t help but feel a burst of anger at Chess. It vanished as quickly as it appeared. Chess was trying to apologize. Chess was nice. Don’t blame her.)

Nick tilted his head. “Well? What—?”

“There you are, Farrah!”

Farrah and the boy’s head both whipped to the side. Reese was moving towards them, a beaming smile on her face. She took Farrah’s hand and Farrah was too surprised to pull away. “Come on, Mattie’s waiting for us! We said we’d go get ice cream remember?”

Ice cream? Farrah hadn’t heard a word about it. But she caught Reese’s eyes and Farrah understood. This was a way out.

Nick spoke up, irritated. “Hey, Furball, we’re trying to have a conversation here!”

Farrah felt anger well up in her chest. She pulled away from Reese and turned back to glare at Nick. “Her name is Reese, asshole!”

Nick only laughed. “Ohh, right! Reeses!”

Farrah practically snarled and for a moment, Reese swore the girl was about to throw a punch.

Nick spoke up before she could, leaning forward slightly, that smug smirk still across his face. “Maybe I’ll use her real name if you tell me what went down?”

Farrah stared back at him, eyes narrowing. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out.

It was strange how the human mind worked.

One moment ago Farrah was able to speak. Even with the anxiety pooled in her she was able to talk back to the other teen.

But the second she was about to yell. To tell him what had happened like he so clearly wanted. To feed the gossip...

The second those memories came back she froze.

It was like a switch had been flipped. And all she could see was Riley. And the knife (Chess’s blood—). And oh god the blood. That searing pain reappeared on her stomach.

Farrah felt a harsh hand place itself on her shoulder and no matter how much she wanted to move away from it she was still stuck in that frozen state. Farrah despised it.

And then, there was yelling. The hand was ripped off her shoulder and a much gentler hand was on the small of her back.

Everything was blurry. What was going on?

Farrah blinked, panic still charging in her veins, and suddenly, she was sitting on a bench outside the school.

She could still feel the terror sweeping through her. The anxiety and pain and fear pounding at her brain.

Farrah pressed her hands against either side of her head, taking deep shuddered breaths.

She remembered panicking like this as a kid. When her mom would yell and dad was disappointed and everything was going wrong. But with these new memories, with the pain in that scar lining her stomach, it suddenly felt much worse than she could ever remember.

Goddamn... she wanted a drink. She wanted the emptiness.

Farrah needed it.

“Farrah?!”

Farrah’s gaze flickered up at her name but she didn’t pull her hands away from her head and her breathing didn’t slow.

She locked gazes with Reese for half a second before looking away again. God, she couldn’t do eye contact right now. (She was too scared that she would see pity, disappointment, anger—)

“Oh, uhm… what did Eva do?!” Reese was muttering to herself. Farrah didn’t hear it, only hearing her rapid thoughts and the panic.

Why was Riley getting closer with the knife? Why was she… why was she…

“Farrah… can you look at me?”

There was a gentle grip on her hand and Farrah latched onto it in seconds. Her eyes stayed stubbornly locked to the ground, clenched shut under the onslaught of memories.

“That’s fine! Can you breathe with me?” Quickly followed by exaggerated inhales and exhales, made loud enough for Farrah to hear.

Something said that this voice would help. So Farrah slowly began to follow the breathing, taking deep shuddered breaths. The voice seemed excited by this, letting out a small laugh amidst a relieved breath.

It was several minutes of this before Farrah hesitantly (something she would never admit) unlatched from the hand and looked up to see Reese. The other girl looked out of her depth and Farrah felt apologetic.

“Do I need to get Annleigh?!” Reese asked quickly.

Farrah shook her head quickly. She had already been putting too much of a burden on Annleigh.

(The attention from her sister felt like a dream come true. But Farrah wasn’t weak. She can handle herself… and Annleigh didn’t want to babysit her, she had said it on… on that night—)

“Okay, uhm… what do I need to do then?” Reese looked out of place and Farrah couldn’t help but feel guilty over it.

“I… I don’t…” Calmer, Farrah tried to figure out what Reese could do. But then something else clicked in her mind.

Farrah quickly found herself glaring, bringing her knees up to her chest.

“Farrah?” Reeee asked, confused by the sudden defensive nature.

“You gonna tell everyone now?” Farrah huffed out, resignation edging her voice. No one else at this damn school would give up the opportunity. Why would Reese?

Reese looked taken aback. “Tell everyone?! About this?! Why would I do that?!”

Farrah’s face was expressionless as she stared at Reese. “Why wouldn’t you?”

There was a stretch of silence, the two studying each other closely.

It was Reese who broke the silence. “Well, I won’t tell them if you don’t want me to!”

Farrah stared at her for another moment, blatant confusion clear in her eyes. “Really?”

“Promise!” Reese declared, giving Farrah a wide smile. After a moment, it deflated. “I’m… I'm sorry about whoever made you feel like you can’t be open in front of others…”

Farrah’s eyes widened and she quickly looked away from Reese. “I…” she closed her mouth before she could say more.

“But you never have to worry about that with me.” Reese smiled sadly before carefully taking Farrah’s hand and pulling her up. She smiled widely again. “Come on, let's go get some ice cream! My treat!”

Farrah stared at her quizzically, letting herself be pulled up. “Don’t we have practice..?”

Reese didn’t seem bothered. “Well, first of all, I don’t think anyone would mind much, even less if they knew about Nick. Second, you wouldn’t have been able to do much today, you’re still healing!”

Farrah didn’t fight, putting her hands in her pockets and following after Reese. “Okay… Ice cream sounds good.”

Reese beamed and led Farrah over to her car. As they walked, Reese brought up something else.

“Uhm…” Reese smiled almost nervously at Farrah, stopping her walk and causing Farrah to stop too. “Thank you… for trying to defend me back there.”

Farrah turned her gaze away. “It’s whatever. Don’t let assholes get you down, Reese.”

There was a long pause and Farrah turned to Reese again, confused. The mascot was practically gaping at her.

“What?” Farrah couldn’t help but snap.

Reese’s gape quickly became a beaming smile. “You called me Reese!”

Farrah frowned. Was she not supposed to do that? “Yeah? You told me to.”

Things were blurry from that night. She had been drunk off her ass and stabbed. But she remembered Reese.

Reese who actually sat down in the bathroom with her. Reese who tried her best to comfort her. Reese she chased away with a stupid comment and stupid nickname. One she wasn’t going to use anymore.

Reese deserved better. That was that.

The next thing Farrah recognized was arms wrapped around her. And then, Reese’s voice. “I’m sorry about what I said back in the bathroom…”

“It shouldn’t be you who's apologizing.” Farrah mumbled, not moving from the embrace. “I said the shitty stuff if I remember right.”

“You were drunk.” Reese replied, pulling back. “And you’re trying to be better now. I think that’s worth something.”

Farrah blushed, averting her gaze from Reese’s. “Well… for what it’s worth… I’m really happy that you made the team. You deserve it so much more than you did mascot.”

Reese’s smile only grew at that. Yeah… things really do change.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: Mentioned/past stabbing, drinking, parties, sexual harassment, withdrawal, vomiting/sickness

“So, Farrah! How are you feeling today?”

The counselor’s office was pale.

It wasn’t bland, inspirational posters stretching from wall to wall along with fake plants made sure of that. But the tan paint visible where posters didn’t cover and the same colored furniture still gave it an almost pale, depressing atmosphere.

It was almost like someone’s mental state. Scars and sadness trying desperately to be hidden by posters and fake happiness.

The ticking clock rang in Farrah’s ears, loud in the otherwise silent room. Well, silent except for the Counselor’s voice, just as grating to Farrah’s ears as the clock.

Farrah didn’t offer a response, staring resolutely at the table and pressing back into her seat, arms crossed.

This was the same old story. For the past few days, after school the counselor would drag her into the office. Apparently, she was hoping Farrah would want to talk about her feelings after getting stabbed by someone.

(Apparently, they were doing the same to Chess. Farrah and Chess only brought it up once to each other and then dropped the issue.)

The counselor sighed. “You need to talk to me, Farrah.”

Farrah stayed stubbornly silent.

“Farrah, you need to start healing. You can’t do that unless you talk to someone.”

Farrah gave her a small grunt in reply. Farrah stayed resolutely quiet through the rest of the blatant questioning.

“How’s practice going for you?”

“How’s your sister doing?”

“Have you talked with your parents about any of this?”

“What about any friends?”

“This is a safe space, Farrah.”

“Have you been having nightmares? I’m sure after such a stressful situation you’ve been having many.”

That last line caught Farrah’s attention. She brought her head up and gave the counselor a glare. “You don’t know, shit.”

“Language, miss Fox.” The counselor said. But she held a sickening smile of pride on her face. Clearly, she was proud of the underhanded method of getting Farrah to speak. “So, why don’t you tell me what I don’t know? I just want to help you…”

Farrah continued glaring at her, hands shaking from where they now gripped onto the edge of the table.

The counselor only pushed harder. “You see it over and over in your head, yes? That’s normal for trauma victims, if you would like I can give you some tips—!”

Abruptly, Farrah stood, glaring down at the woman. “Shut. Up.”

“You can be better, Farrah. If you just let me—!”

“Look, I have practice today.” Farrah practically snapped, eyes closed. “Can I go or not?”

For a long moment, the counselor looked ready to object, make her stay until she talked. But finally, she relented with a deep sigh, a look of pure disappointment that Farrah despised and has seen all too often appearing on her face.

The counselor waved her hand to the door. “I hope you feel like you can talk to me soon, Farrah.”

Farrah didn’t look back or offer a word as she left out the door.

She hated the counseling. She hated it.

The only thing it did was pull memories to the surface she was trying to forget. It only pushed her closer to the edge, threatening to send her resolution splintering and cracking.

(And it did.)

Farrah didn’t think she could handle practice right now. All she could see was Riley and the flash of a blade.

Farrah paused in the hallway, slowly bringing herself to lean against the wall.

She had been avoiding it. She had been avoiding all of it. Because she knew, if she thought about it, she would break down.

And that’s what she did.

Cracked sobs began to escape her lips and no matter how hard she tried to keep them back, tears began to fall down her cheeks.

That glass bottle that had been slowly filling up with more and more pressure finally cracked. Every nightmare and anxiety she had jumped at her.

Between the sobs she couldn’t help but give a bitter laugh.

Heal? What a joke.

Maybe… just maybe… she should have died to that knife.

Soon enough, Farrah managed to calm, placing the mental cap back on the mental bottle. And it was only a minute after that did her phone ding.

Three texts.

One from Annleigh. ‘R U almst done with counselor?’

Another from Chess. ‘See you at practice! <3’

And a final one from an unlabeled number. ‘Yo Brians partys tnight.’

There was a party tonight… over at the Scotts’ house.

Farrah stared at the message for a long moment. All of the nightmares and her frustration was welling up. The urge to drink felt stronger than ever.

(Faintly, Farrah recognized that her hands were shaking.)

You know what? Fuck practice. Not like she would get to do any flying yet anyways, apparently she was still injured or some bullshit.

Farrah had a party to get ready for.

~~||~~||~~

Little did Farrah know, Cairo had gone to that same party.

The lights pounded at the new cheer captain’s skull and she stood in the corner, red cup from the movies in hand. She used to mingle, get a little tipsy and go talk to friends. Now, she stood by herself, still a little tipsy but all alone.

She wasn’t in a socializing mood anymore.

In fact, the only ones she seems to truly socialize with anymore are the other members of the squad plus Clark, who by this point was more of an honorary member. They were the only ones who didn’t seem fake anymore. Anyone else only seemed to talk to her anymore for gossip on everything that happened at the sleepover.

So she would be staying alone at this party.

Cairo scanned the crowd, content to do people watching for the night.

The same old faces surrounded her along with some newcomers from other counties. The music thumped at a deafening level that Cairo knew would earn a noise complaint.

Cairo couldn’t see any of the other tigers. And for that she was grateful. She didn’t need to see her team drunk at a party. (She carefully hid away the fact that it was out of concern for their mental health.)

Farrah especially didn’t need to be here. 

Cairo argued and fought, sure, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be worried about people. And Farrah… the sophomore was pretty damn high on that list.

Farrah already struggled with addiction. She had said she wanted to get better. But… after everything with… (a shuddered breath. Cairo couldn’t finish that thought.) Cairo wasn’t so sure Farrah could hold to that.

Farrah bottled things up until the pressure shattered everything. After all, how do you release such pressure when you have no one to talk to?

Cairo was worried about everyone on the team.

With the new friendships forming and the pressure of being captain, Cairo felt the need to look after the team. (It was only heightened by guilt and pain by what her crush— best friend had done.) The worrying and caring caught Cairo off guard, the only one she had cared about in the beginning was Riley. And now, here she was without Riley and caring for the traumatized cheer squad that had managed to work their way into her heart after months of fighting and arguing.

For her own mental health, Cairo decided to roll with it. (Rolling with it didn’t mean she would open up to them and let them know that she cared.)

She would look after the team as well as she could.

A scene caught Cairo’s eyes, ripping her from her thoughts, and she froze immediately after processing what she was seeing.

Shit. Scratch her earlier thought about Farrah.

The sophomore was here, on the other side of the room.

She was clearly drunk but that wasn’t the only danger. A drunk guy was with her, someone Cairo recognized as a senior. He was leaning over Farrah, trapping her with his larger frame. He was flirting and touching, something that was clearly making Farrah nervous. She kept snapping back at him but the guy clearly wasn’t taking no and might even be encouraged by the defiance.

Cairo didn’t hesitate, cup in hand becoming crumpled and dropped to the floor, spilling her drink. She shoved and slipped through the crowd easily, anger making people part from her path.

She reached them in seconds.

First instinct? Get him away from Farrah.

Which is why as she reached them, Cairo put her hands out. She slammed into him, shoving him away from Farrah and removing the arm that had been wrapped around the shorter girl. He went staggering back and Cairo pressed herself between him and Farrah, an arm moving back slightly to protect Farrah.

“The fuck?!” The guy yelled as he caught his feet.

“Cairo?!” Farrah sounded just as surprised even with her drunken speech. Relief was also strong in her tone.

“You need to back off, asshole!” Cairo said immediately.

“Dude, we were just having fun!”

Cairo’s scowl only became colder. Yeah, it was absolutely fun when one of them looked petrified.

“I said, back off.” Cairo reiterated before looking back to Farrah. “Why don’t we go get some fresh air?”

Farrah looked a mix between wary and downright relieved as she gave a nod. But like a switch had been flipped, her gaze became even more wary. “No tricks?”

Cairo snorted. At least something stayed the same about Farrah. “No tricks. Just getting away from this asshole.”

“Hey, you can’t just—!”

Cairo whirled to face the other senior again, giving him a glare that made him flinch. “Newsflash, I just did. I suggest you stay the hell away from my team and stop preying on drunk girls, coward.”

And with that, Cairo was turning back to Farrah. The glare was gone, replaced with a rarely seen, softer expression as she carefully helped the staggering girl stand and make her way out of the house. 

They stopped further down the street, the music still heard in the background.

“After your resolution, I didn’t think I would find you at another party.” Cairo started.

“Yeah? So what do you care?” Farrah snapped, leaning against the wall so she wouldn’t fall.

Cairo raised an eyebrow. “I care that one of my teammates is getting drunk at a party when we have practice tomorrow.”

Farrah gave her a snort. “You didn’t care before. And hey…” Her voice trailed slightly before becoming strong again. “And hey I didn’t see you caring when you got Mattie drunk.”

Cairo froze, staring at Farrah with a glare. “And I regret doing that. I was a shitty person. But I’m trying to be better now.”

Farrah hummed. “You sure you aren’t just trying to deal with your girlfriend being in jail?”

It was right there that something in Cairo snapped.

The strings that had been pulled tight in her chest through all of the aftermath of what Riley did finally snapped under the tension. They snapped and all of her anger and sadness she’s bottled up was released.

Cairo stomped forward, grabbing Farrah by the collar of her shirt and twisting so she was pinning Farrah against the wall. Farrah squeaked as she hit the wall, freezing under the pressure of Cairo’s hands against her collarbone.

“Shut the fuck up, Farrah! You didn’t know her like I did! You don’t know how good she was before she was pushed to her breaking point!” Cairo roared, every pent up emotion finally releasing.

Both of them went silent, staring at each other. Farrah was staring at Cairo, wide eyed with fear. Cairo panted for breath after her outburst, grip loosening as she slowly realized what she was doing.

“I… shit... I’m sorry…”

She let go, hands moving to Farrah’s shoulders to support her instead.

Farrah still stared at her wide eyed for a long moment. But soon it deflated to despair. “No… you’re right.”

“Like hell I am.” Cairo shook her head. “I just… I forget that people never saw the Riley I knew. And you especially… you only saw the Riley that tried to murder you.” Cairo took a deep breath. “And besides, you’re under the influence. You probably won’t remember any of this in the morning.”

And that made Farrah stop in her tracks. “Shit.”

“Farrah?” Cairo looked worried. “Fuck I didn’t hit you hard did I? I’m sorry—!”

Farrah cut her off, clear panic in her voice. “I wasn’t supposed to get drunk!” She pushed Cairo away and began to pace, stumbling as she went. “I told myself I’d get better, but I’m drunk at another fucking party!” Farrah sobbed out. She halted in her tracks and punched at the wall. “Dammit!”

Cairo was swiftly by her side, taking hold of her hands so she couldn’t make a second punch. “Hey… look at me… look at me and follow my breathing.”

Cairo has some experience with stuff like this… Riley had struggled with anxiety her entire life.

After a minute of carefully guiding Farrah through breathing exercises, the drunken Sophomore calmed. Her breathing gradually lowered to normal, sobs becoming small hiccups, and her tears slowed but didn’t stop pouring.

“Look.” Cairo continued after calming Farrah, her voice slow and cautious. “Beating yourself up for it? I think that would make you spiral more, now wouldn’t it?”

“Guess so…” Farrah mumbled.

“Alright. Then let’s stop that right now. You made a mistake and you’re going to try and fix it.” Cairo told her simply, guiding Farrah back to the wall and helping her sit. “And there’s this fun little thing called relapse.”

Farrah huffed. “I know what it is.”

“Great!” Cairo couldn’t help but be sarcastic, crossing her arms. “Then you’ll know that that’s what’s happening right now!”

Farrah paused. “Mm. True.”

“Okay then… do you know what made you drink?” Cairo prodded carefully, arms lowering back to her side.

There was a long pause before Farrah spoke, gaze trailing to the ground. “... it hurts, Cai.”

Cairo decidedly ignored the nickname in trade for concern. A lot of concern. “Shit, what hurts?! Your stab wound?! Did I hurt you?!”

Farrah’s head lolled to meet Cairo’s eyes and Cairo paused as Farrah spoke. “Everything hurts.”

And somehow, by meeting Farrah’s eyes, Cairo knew for a fact she wasn’t just talking about her injury.

Cairo and Farrah both stared at each other, one stunned the other depressed. Cairo couldn’t help but wonder if Farrah felt like this before the sleepover…

Cairo finally sighed deeply and sat beside Farrah. “Talk to me.”

Farrah squinted at her. “Why the fuck would I do that?”

“Get it off your chest.” Cairo answered simply. “I won’t say a word and maybe I can even give advice.”

Farrah still stared at her warily. “You never did this before…”

Cairo looked away from Farrah, staring out at the night. “Yeah… you’re right. But I have some things to change too, now don’t I?”

There were several beats of silence, the two studying each other. And then, the dam that Farrah carefully built up around herself finally seemed to crack.

“I just… everything hurts… the… the scar hurts a lot and people still talk about the video and now they talk about the uh… the stab too.” Farrah stared at the floor, fists clenched tight. “I just… I’m tired of people talking about me for that shit. And people always say they… they know what you’re going through when they don’t know shit. Shit. Uhm. And I’m tired of… being told I can be bet… better. And only Chess gets it and all of you are being nice and I don’t know why—!”

“Breathe, Farrah…” Cairo cut her off quietly.

Farrah went silent, swaying in her seated spot as she took deep breaths. Eventually, she whispered. “‘M tired of it.”

Cairo nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure…”

Both went back to their thoughts. Cairo thinks she understands part of Farrah’s problem. After all, she’s been getting endless questions about her friendship with Riley.

“Did you know she would snap?”

“Do you wish she was out of prison?”

“Bet she helped Riley stab those girls!”

It hurt. And Farrah had been dealing with it longer for another different reason she still dealt with on top of the new rumor. And god, she had PTSD now on top of that and so much other shit to deal with. It wasn’t a big surprise that Cairo found her drunk, if the Senior was being honest.

She was snapped by her thoughts by Farrah’s slurred voice, sounding panicky.

“... Is Annleigh going to be mad at me?” Another thought struck Farrah and she froze. “Oh god, Chess—!”

“Hey! Nope!” Cairo interjected quickly, making Farrah look at her. “We’re not going to think about that. Those two sure as hell care about you, if they say anything then it’s gonna be out of concern and not anger.”

Farrah slowly deflated, clearly exhausted and at least somewhat appeased by Cairo’s words.

Cairo sighed, dragging a hand down her face. “Look… I think you need to talk to someone about all of this.”

“... the counselor’s a bitch.”

Cairo couldn’t stop the smirk. “Trust me, I know. Which is why… I think you should talk to my therapist.”

Farrah fixed her with a confused expression. “You have a therapist?”

Cairo paused for a long moment. She hadn’t told anyone she was seeing a therapist yet… “Yep. I didn’t want to at first. But mom insisted.”

Farrah didn’t look away from her. “You loved Riley.”

Cairo blinked. That came out of nowhere. But the surprise was quickly changed to pain. Cairo stubbornly bit back tears. Maybe she was talking to Farrah, but there was no way in hell she was letting her see her cry.

“Yeah… yeah I did.”

Farrah finally looked away from Cairo. Her expression was blank. “Riley stabbed me.”

“She didn’t know—!” Cairo’s first instinct was to defend Riley. But as quick as the instinct rose did it fade away, making Cairo deflate with it.

That was not something she should defend.

Instead, Cairo pressed her head back against the wall. She closed her eyes tight. “God… I don’t know what happened to her…” 

Cairo snapped back to herself, registering Farrah staring at her almost blankly.

Fuck! Why did she say all of that? Why was she being so open?!

Was it the little bit of alcohol she had drank? Was it to comfort Farrah? Was it to vent? (Maybe, it was a bit of everything…)

But Cairo leaned on the breaks right there. She wasn’t ready to be so open about her feelings. Not yet. Not with someone she used to fight daily. Not so soon after Riley.

(Sometimes, Cairo still saw the scene from the bathroom. That made it hurt to look at Farrah. Chess was just as hard.)

“Come on.” Cairo said, pulling herself to her feet. “You’re drunk and I’m sure Annleigh is worried.”

“Mad?” Farrah asked, out of it.

“Doubt it.” Cairo snorted, helping Farrah stand. “You relapsed. Nothing to be mad at.”

“Guess you aren’t a total bitch.” Farrah mumbled as Cairo helped her along.

Cairo snorted, shaking her head. “You aren’t so bad yourself, Farrah.”

~~||~~||~~

Farrah didn’t want to do rehab. And she didn’t want to do therapy either.

Which was why she didn’t follow Cairo’s recommendation that had been texted to her the morning after the party. Cairo didn’t know that she wasn’t going, Farrah wanted to keep it that way.

But even with that, she wanted to be better. She wanted to stop drinking and she thinks she can do it on her own.

She didn’t need help.

(She didn’t even need Chess, no matter how every part of her heart screamed otherwise—)

But there were two things she overlooked.

One, how strong the urge to drink was. She was fighting an addiction. And with trauma and depression and disappointment aimed at her from every angle, resisting the urge was hard. Every yell from her parents, every meeting with the counselor, every time someone mentioned her fall, every time she remembers Riley and the blade… her resolution cracks and pulls away.

It was a desperate climb up a mountain. Farrah wasn’t quite sure when she would stop.

Second, there was a fun thing called withdrawal.

It was why Farrah sat leaning over a toilet in the school bathroom. (Oh god it was like before Reese found her before she dumped the alcohol before she made a resolution she might be failing miserably before Riley—)

She was pale and shaking horribly. Sweat beaded her skin and fell from her forehead. Her heart was beating fast and she was gasping for breath. She was vomiting, leaning over the toilet with harsh gagging.

She had been sitting in class, dealing with all of it when she had to give in to the urge to vomit. It was a mad sprint out of class to the school bathroom, where she now knelt in a stall, choking on her own bile and trembling as she vomited into the toilet.

Farrah jolted and practically scrambled upon feeling a gentle hand on her back. Staring back at her was Mattie, wide eyed with confusion and concern.

Farrah tried to speak, but the sick feeling came back and she was over the toilet again, just in time to vomit some more. Mattie began to mumble soothing words but in a very nervous tone. The freshman had begun to rub circles into Farrah’s back.

The feeling felt nice and Farrah found herself relaxing as the vomit spell faded, yet she didn’t move, that sick feeling still strong.

It’s okay… it wasn’t Riley… it was Mattie… and the touch felt comforting as hell…

Soon, her vomiting faded to dry heaving and Farrah pushed away from the toilet to rest against the stall door, closing her eyes with a deep breath. God, her hands wouldn’t stop shaking and she felt drenched in sweat.

“Farrah?” Mattie was saying, hand on Farrah’s shoulder. “Do I need to get someone?”

Farrah shook her head. “‘M fine…”

Mattie laughed nervously. “I don’t… think so…”

Farrah whined as she met Mattie’s eyes. “Please don’t tell anyone? I’ll be fine in a minute…”

Mattie shifted anxiously but slowly nodded. “Okay… but I’m not leaving you alone!”

And with that decision Mattie plopped down next to Farrah, leaning back against the door too. Her hand moved down to Farrah’s knee instead.

Farrah stared at her for a long moment before closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the door again. She focused on her breathing, trying to calm her rapid heart rate.

“Farrah?”

Farrah hummed in acknowledgement at the sound of her name, not opening her eyes.

“Do you know what’s wrong?” Mattie was asking quietly.

Farrah paused for a second. Then in barely above a whisper, she answered. “Withdrawal.”

There was a pause from Mattie this time and then a nervous laugh. “I don’t… know what that is…”

Farrah opened her eyes and looked to Mattie. “I’ve stopped drinking. But because I cut it off my body is a piece of shit who got sick. When that happens it’s called withdrawal.”

Well, it was definitely an explanation, Mattie thought. She met Farrah’s eyes and Farrah blinked at the anxiety she was seeing. “But you’ll be okay soon, right?”

“Eventual—!” Farrah was cut off by that sick feeling swirling in her stomach again, swiftly forcing her up and over the toilet again.

Mattie squeaked but was quickly by her side again, repeating her earlier action. Her words weren’t as nervous as before.

Soon enough, the spell faded again and Farrah took the offered toilet paper, wiping her mouth. “Goddamn.” She grumbled, throwing the paper into the toilet and flushing.

“Do I need to get someone to take you home?” Mattie asked carefully.

Farrah winced. God, that sounded great. But Farrah knew for a fact her parents would frame her as either skipping for the fun of it or like her sickness is hangover sickness. Neither sounded fun.

“No… I wanna get through the day.” Farrah replied. “I think I’m okay now…”

And from the look Mattie gave her, Farrah suddenly had the feeling she didn’t look as okay as she said. She didn’t really feel like it either.

“I don’t—!”

“I’m fiiine.” Farrah stumbled slightly, blinking and Mattie quickly took hold of her arm. Things were suddenly a lot more dizzy, like she actually had gotten drunk. Next to her, Mattie could feel how clammy and sweat soaked Farrah’s skin was. “If anything, I’m looking at it like a punishment.”

Mattie froze at that, staring at Farrah wide eyed. “Punishment?”

Farrah hummed a yes. “For all my drinking. This is the punishment and then I can move forward like it never happened.”

“Farrah, I don’t think—!”

“Nah, I know it’s true.” Farrah said. “Tried to tell me getting stabbed was the punishment… but I think this is it.”

Mattie looked horrified at this point, still keeping Farrah steady. “Who… who told you that?!”

Farrah blinked, squinting. “You know, I really don’t remember.”

“Well…” Mattie’s tone suddenly took a much more fierce touch. “Whoever said that was lying! You could never control what Riley did and you can’t control this either! You’ll… you’ll get through this and you’ll be better than ever!” Mattie gave her a wide, confident smile. “And the team will be by your side every step of the way!”

Farrah could only stare at her blankly. She opened her mouth to reply but stumbled again. This time she didn’t stay on her feet. Mattie yelped and helped Farrah lower herself to the ground.

To Mattie, Farrah frankly looked miserable. And then this? Mattie was certain Farrah needed to go home or even see a doctor.

Right now though? Mattie didn’t think Farrah would be able to make the walk. In fact, Farrah had curled up, hands pressed firmly over her face. “Urgh… too bright…”

So, Mattie thought of an idea. She sat down, back to the wall. Farrah hardly resisted as Mattie pulled her so her head rested on Mattie’s lap. Mattie then tugged off her own jacket and bundled it up. She gently draped the jacket over Farrah’s face, making sure the sophomore could still breathe while it blocked out the light.

“Is this okay?” Mattie asked carefully. Even in the little time she knew Farrah, the freshman knew that the older girl hated to be vulnerable in front of others.

Farrah simply let out a relieved sigh, relaxing fully against Mattie. Normally? She wouldn’t allow this. But god, this felt nice and she didn’t feel good at all.

Neither knew how long they stayed this way, at one point they had heard the bell and the movement between classes. But for the most part, things were calm and quiet. Farrah had actually fallen asleep, much to Mattie’s relief. Sure, they were on the floor of the school bathroom, but Farrah looked like she needed it.

But eventually, Farrah slowly woke up. She still looked sick but actually looked much better than before. “Mattie?” She mumbled, pulling the jacket away from her face. She quickly sat up upon noting their position. She blinked sleep from her eyes. “What—?”

Mattie wore a relieved smile. “Do you feel a little better?”

Farrah stared at her for a long moment, remembering what had happened. “I… I think so… what time is it?”

Mattie glanced down to her phone. “Oh, last period is about to start!” She looked back to Farrah. “Do you want to walk to the nurse before the class change?”

Farrah couldn’t help but feel confusion. Mattie had really sat here with her for so long? What…?

“Uh… well…” Farrah still didn’t look great or feel great. But the impromptu nap had actually helped a little bit, even if it wasn’t much. “I want… to finish class if I can?”

Mattie watched her for a moment. “Alright. But only because I share that class with you so I can keep an eye on you!”

“I… keep an eye on me…?”

“Yeah, in case you get sick again!” Mattie looked so happy to be helpful that Farrah couldn’t say no.

“Okay…” Farrah agreed slowly.

So, Mattie helped her back to her feet and keep steady. As they unlocked the stall door, Mattie looked up at Farrah. “You’re a good person, Farrah!”

Farrah stared at her, wide eyed. “What are you…?”

Mattie shrugged, a beaming smile not going away. “Just something I think you need to hear!”

Farrah’s hands shook as she bit back the shakiness in her voice. “It’s whatever.”

Mattie just smiled at her and looped their arms as they walked back to the class where they had left their stuff. The rest of the school day, Mattie hardly left her side. The freshman was noticeably worried for her and Farrah didn’t quite know how to react to it. At the end of the school day Mattie even seemed reluctant to part, that same concern still in her eyes.

Later that day, those words rang in her head. She couldn’t stop herself from having several very alcoholic drinks later that night when she knew she wouldn’t be interrupted.

(Push them away. Don’t get hurt. Numb the pain. You are not a good person.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: abuse, mentioned drinking

Farrah took a relieved breath, keeping a book close to her chest as she reached her front door.

It was the middle of the night. Farrah had been sitting in her room earlier when she realized something. Mattie had lent her a book that was very important to her, and Farrah left it at the school. Well, the sophomore didn't want to chance anything and it was an easy walk. So she had grabbed a light jacket and made the walk.

For the most part she hadn’t been bothered by the darkness around her, street lights luminating the street. But she couldn’t help but be wary. Her mind couldn’t help but give her the image of being stabbed again under the cover of night. Farrah stubbornly shook those images away.

Her mission had been successful and now she was back home, book in arm. Luckily, all she had left was some homework to finish up and then she could sleep or chat with the other Tigers through the group chat.

But upon entering the house, life once again had other plans.

“Farrah!”

Farrah froze at the shout, the door closed behind her. Her parents were glaring at her, her father storming over with her mother staying a bit behind. Annleigh looked nervous, swiftly passing them and reaching Farrah’s side.

“I tried to tell them—!”

That’s right, Farrah remembered. She had told Annleigh where she was going, not wanting to freak her sister out.

Their mother cut Annleigh off. “She lied to you, Annleigh. She’s done it before!”

Farrah gaped at them. Yeah, it was true, but it’s been a while since that happened and she’s been trying to keep sober. Surely that counted for something? “Where do you think I was?!”

Annleigh couldn’t help but move out of the way as their father reached them. “At a party getting drunk, your usual affair.” He practically hissed at her.

Farrah couldn’t help but glare back, scanning him up and down. “Do I look drunk to you?! I was just getting a book I left at school!”

“You’re always drunk.” Her step-mother drawled and Farrah winced.

“I’ve stopped that! You can’t tell?! God, some parents you are.” Farrah couldn’t keep herself from making the comment.

“Farrah, I’ve had enough of this!” Her father sighed deeply. “You’ve been tearing this family apart.”

Farrah gaped at him. “Wh—?! You think I’m the only reason?!”

“If you could just stop drinking then—!”

“I have! I have and clearly it hasn’t changed shit!”

“This is a house of Christ, young lady! Watch your language!”

“Maybe, we should all go to bed and—!” Annleigh tried to interject. She was trying to play peacemaker but Farrah could definitely see some hidden fury at their parents.

“And don’t you think you’re out of trouble either! You were supposed to be watching her!” Annleigh’s mother accused and Annleigh flinched.

Farrah snapped at that. “Hey! Don’t you dare drag her into this! I’ve had enough of you punishing my sister for the shit I’ve done!”

Her father scoffed. “Sisters?” Him and Farrah were face to face now. He glared and Farrah found her body involuntarily flinching before she straightened and glared right back, no matter how wavered it was. “As far as I’m concerned, I only have one daughter. It’s a shame she isn’t related to me by blood.”

Farrah sneered right back at him. “You make it sound like I think of you as my family.”

(When she was a child, that was all she wanted. Her father and mother to be her family but that family was already broken and torn to shreds.)

“Watch your attitude.” Her father’s scowl didn’t leave. “Honestly, ever since your mother and I divorced—!”

“She may have been an asshole but she was still my mom—!”

“And you act just like her—!”

“Don’t you—!”

A movement caught Farrah’s eyes and she jolted backwards, her back hitting the door. A hand swung out in front of her, missing her by an inch or two.

There was a moment of shocked silence. Everyone stared at each other, wide eyed. Farrah’s out of fear, Annleigh and her mother’s out of shock, and Farrah couldn’t quite make out what her father was thinking.

Her father tried to slap her.

The second Farrah willed her feet to move, she bolted. She swung around, opening the door and fleeing back into the night outside.

“Farrah—!”

“What the hell did you just do?!” (Farrah’s never heard Annleigh cuss before, even just hell. But she didn’t really process it.)

The book laid abandoned on the house floor.

~~||~~||~~

Eva hummed to herself as she drove along.

It was another night of delivering pizzas for her. It was the same old. Luckily this time, she wasn’t running into attempted murder. Although, she would admit her wariness when she first started the job again after that incident. But it was getting easier.

She had just delivered her last pizza for the night and was on her way home. It was the dark of night outside, illuminated by street lights and her own car lights.

She kept her eyes on the road but noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

Under a streetlight, sitting on a bench, was a figure. Hunched over slightly and staring at the ground.

Wait a minute…

Eva felt her eyes widened as she recognized who she had just passed. She fumbled, quickly finding a parking space on the side of the road.

She ducked out of the car and traced her path backwards, quickly finding the figure again and making her way over.

“Farrah?”

Sure enough, there sat Farrah. The girl jolted, standing up and looking to Eva with a rather scared expression. Eva blinked in surprise before she calmly held out a hand. “Hey, it’s just me.”

Farrah looked her up and down, slowly sitting down again. “Sanchez.” She greeted Eva simply.

“That would be my last name, yeah.” Eva gave her a teasing smirk. It faded to a more serious and curious expression. “What are you doing out here so late at night?”

Farrah stubbornly looked away from her, arms crossed. She would never admit that she was cold in her too light jacket. “None of your business.”

Eva raised a brow, taking a seat next to Farrah. “Yeah, well, I’m just wanting to make sure you’re okay.”

Farrah gave her a side glance. “What do you care?”

Eva didn’t seem bothered by the stand-offish nature. “I care more than you think. A person can be nice just to be nice.”

Farrah gave her a look that plainly said, ‘seriously?’

Eva laughed lightly, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, I know. People just don’t seem to follow that very much.”

Eva couldn’t help but smile, rather proud with herself, upon hearing Farrah give her a small laugh.

Eva softened, watching Farrah closely. “Do you… want to talk about anything? Like what you’re doing here? Or it can just be about how your day was.”

There was silence and Eva was about to speak up, tell Farrah it was okay to not speak. But then, Farrah actually did speak, voice barely above a whisper.

“I… I left Mattie’s book at the school. So I went back and got it. I got home and my parents thought I was at a party.” Farrah murmured. “There… it was a lot of yelling. Annleigh tried to get them to stop but they yelled at her too.”

Eva frowned. “There’s something you aren’t saying.” Farrah tensed and Eva quickly backtracked. “Of course, you don’t have to tell me!”

Farrah studied her for a moment before looking back to the ground again. “My dad tried to slap me.”

There was a stunned silence, Eva staring at Farrah wide eyed. “Holy shit. Are you okay?!”

Farrah numbly nodded. “Yeah. He missed. It’s just… he never tried to hit me before.”

Eva places a hand on Farrah’s back, the sophomore didn’t try to pull away. “Farrah, I am so sorry that happened…”

Farrah took a shuddered breath and gave her a bitter laugh. “I’m fine.”

Eva shook her head. “You are anything but fine.”

“I—!”

“If my father tried to slap me, I would be in shock too.” Eva said. She paused. Of course, it wasn’t like she even knew her father.

Farrah pursed her lips. “I think I should’ve expected it. He’s always yelled at me. Step-mom too. It’s just… they never tried to actually hit me before.”

“That doesn’t mean they should.” Eva replied immediately. “They’re your parents. No parent should hit their kid. And honestly? They shouldn’t make them feel like a disappointment either.”

Farrah looked up at that, meeting Eva’s eyes. A silent conversation passed between them. Farrah sighed, looking away. “Yeah, well, I’ve dealt with it a while now.”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

Farrah gave her a grunt in reply and they drifted into silence. They looked out at the night around them, house lights beginning to click off as people went to bed.

Eventually Eva spoke again. “So, I assume you don’t want to go home.”

Farrah snorted. “I have to face the music, don’t I? That or stay out here.”

Eva tilted her head. Yeah, there was no way she was letting Farrah stay out on the streets for the night. “Yeah, I’m not letting you get mugged. So, would you like to come spend the night at my house?”

Farrah gave her a confused expression. “Seriously?”

Eva couldn’t hold back a small laugh as she nodded. “Seriously.”

Farrah gave her a wary glare. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“Fair enough.” Eva shrugged. “But we’ve been on the same team for a little while now, I think that counts for something. And it’s just for tonight.”

Farrah studied her closely, taking in Eva’s honesty for this offer. There was a stretch of silence as she debated and ran through her memories of the other girl. Finally Farrah gave her a slowly nod.

“Okay.”

“You’ll come with me?”

“Yeah. Don’t make me regret it.”

Eva beamed. “I promise you won’t.” She paused. “Hey, does Annleigh know that you’re safe?”

Farrah paused too. “Shit.” She quickly checked her pockets and cursed again. “I left my phone at home.”

“Hey, it’s cool.” Eva assured. “I’ll send her a text really quick and then we can go, okay?”

She received a nod so Eva glanced down to her phone and paused upon seeing a bunch of messages from the group chat she had with the Tigers and Clark.

Annleigh: has anyone seen Farrah?!?

Kate: no???

Chess: is she okay? What’s wrong?

Annleigh: she ran off and it’s night and I’m worried

Cairo: wait  
Cairo: why did she run?

Annleigh: parents

Kate: oh those assholes

Reese: do we need to go look for her?!

Mattie: ^

Annleigh: dunno

Clark: I’m coming over Annleigh  
Clark: try to breathe for me babe

Chess: we should go look for her  
Chess: Kate want me to pick you up? We can drive around

Kate: yeah I’ll start getting ready

Reese: I’ll go look too!

Eva glanced at the time, only a few seconds since they all made that resolution. Thank god. She could prevent that panic.

Eva: it’s okay  
Eva: she’s with me

Annleigh: oh thank god

Chess: is she okay?!

Cairo : holy shit

Kate: ooh god

Eva: she’s fine, I was doing my job and found her on a bench  
Eva: she’s gonna come home with me for the night, safer that way

Annleigh: yes of course!  
Annleigh: thank you so much eva

Eva: np :)  
Eva: she’s safe with me!

With that done, Eva put the phone down and turned the key in the ignition. “Alright, the others know you’re safe now.”

Farrah gave her a glance. “They were worried?”

Eva gave her a nod, not pulling out of the space yet. “Yep. Annleigh texted the group chat.” She gave Farrah a teasing smile. “Everyone was ready to send out a search party for you.”

Farrah stared at her, stunned for a moment before looking away with a blush. “They don’t… Were they really that worried?”

Eva gave her a sort of sad smile. “I promise you that they were. You can look at the messages later yourself if you want to.”

Farrah was silent after that, so Eva pulled out of the space, beginning to drive in the direction of her house. The ride was quiet, but a rather calm quiet.

“You know…” Farrah spoke up. “Kate likes you.”

Eva blushed bright red, and swerved slightly from the surprise. The older teen quickly pulled over before she could cause an accident. “Farrah!”

Farrah smirked at her. “Well it wasn't a lie! Kate likes you and you like Kate! Just ask her out!”

“Where the hell is this coming from?!” Eva asked, trying to deflect slightly.

“I was just thinking about you and the others.” Farrah said with a small shrug. “It’s obvious.”

“So you decided to bring it up while I was driving to make me crash?!” Eva asked, still staring at her with wide eyes.

“Eh, didn’t mean to make you crash but it proves that I’m right.”

“Wh— no!”

Both paused, staring at each other.

Finally, calmer than before, Eva took a deep breath. “Okay. I like Kate. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Actually? Yeah, it is.” Farrah replied with a raised brow.

“Okay… And you want me to ask her out.” Eva said cautiously.

“Yep.” Farrah said, tilting her head. “Well, I don’t really care if you ask her out or not. Your pining is just getting sickening at practice.”

Eva massaged her head. “Look, Farrah. I’m not going to ask her out when she obviously likes Chess.”

There was a long pause after that statement. Until finally, Farrah burst out laughing.

“Hey!” Eva gaped at her.

“Fuck, sorry!” Farrah began to calm slightly, still snickering. “It’s just… believe it or not, they aren’t gay for each other.”

“You have got to be joking.” Eva stared at her like she was insane. “They absolutely are! I mean, the way they talk through looks alone, how close they are!”

“God, I know!” Farrah nodded in agreement. “Literally everyone on the team thought so too! But I actually talked to Chess about it.” Farrah leaned closer, eyes sparkling like she was telling a secret. “Turns out, they were crushing on each other earlier in high school, Kate more than Chess. They kissed each other impulsively and somehow, someway they didn’t click. So, they’re just best friends.”

“I’m calling bullshit.” Eva said, disbelieving. “Have you looked at them?!”

Farrah put her hands up. “Look, I thought the same thing but I’m telling the truth.”

Eva nodded slowly. “Okay… so they aren’t together. That still doesn’t mean she likes me.”

Farrah gave her a deadpan expression. “You’re joking.”

“Why would I joke about that?!”

“Oh my god you’re more oblivious than I thought.” Farrah muttered, squinting at her. Eva only glared back in return. So Farrah sighed. “Okay, look. You’re not gonna get anywhere if you don’t try. Just text her when we get to your house.”

“I can make things awkward!” Eva hissed.

“Well, you never know unless you try.” Farrah shrugged.

“Okay. Then what about you and Chess?” Eva asked the sophomore.

Farrah stared at her rather comically. “What?”

Eva tilted her head. “You two have gotten close recently.”

Farrah frowned at her, but a blush spread across her cheeks. “Yeah, cause we’re helping each other and shit. Doesn’t mean we like each other.”

For a moment, Eva considered pushing the subject. But after the earlier events that had already stressed Farrah out, Eva decided against it.

So she simply shrugged. “That’s fair enough. Sorry for assuming.”

Farrah stared at her, expressionless for a second. “It’s whatever…”

They held each other’s stare for a long moment before Eva pulled back into the road again. The drive back from there was silent.

“And here we are.” Eva said, turning off the engine after pulling into her driveway.

Farrah hummed. Eva’s house was smaller than her own and a little more rundown, but it seemed pleasant. It was nice and already seemed more welcoming than her own… (the only thing welcoming about her own home was her room and Annleigh, and the latter had only really started recently.)

She trailed after Eva up to the door, warily looking back into the night. The door opened and Eva let Farrah go in first, closing and locking the door behind the both of them.

The interior was just as pleasant as the outside, decorated but not too flashily and with warm colors and pictures. A kitchen was to the left and a living room to the right, three more doors further down the hall were closed.

“Eva? You’re back later than usual!”

Eva smiled, eyes lighting up with pure warmth. “Sorry mom, I had to pick up a friend.”

“A friend?” And around from the corner came Eva’s mom. She paused slightly upon seeing Farrah before smiling kindly. “Oh, hello!”

Farrah gave her a small wave. “Hi.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet one of Eva’s friends! She’s told me a lot about you and your friends.” Ms. Sanchez gave her daughter a smile. “You really need to introduce me to the rest of them, I’ve only had the pleasure of meeting Chess and Kate, lovely girls. Oh, and of course now you…”

“Farrah.” The sophomore said simply.

Realization flashed in Ms. Sanchez’s eyes. But she didn’t say anything about the recent news story that had captured the entire town’s attention, instead still wearing that polite smile. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Farrah.”

“Nice to meet you too…”

Eva spoke up, looking satisfied and happy by the meeting. “I didn’t get to bring home pizza tonight. Should I make us something?”

Ms. Sanchez gave her a glare, but it wasn’t angry or malicious, it was actually rather playful. “Eva, you just got off work and you have a friend over. I’ll be doing the cooking.”

Eva chuckled, backing down. “Alright, okay! But for the record, you work longer hours than I do.”

Ms. Sanchez looked back to Farrah. “Is there anything you two can think of?”

Farrah looked surprised before she slowly shook her head, keeping her hands stubbornly in her pockets. “Oh, uh… I’m fine. I ate earlier.”

Somehow, Eva doubted that. “Hey mom, I think whatever should be okay.”

Ms. Sanchez met Eva’s eyes and clearly noticed Eva’s look. “Then I’ll just see what I can find!”

As she left, Eva looked back to Farrah. “It’s okay if you’re hungry. We have enough for three.”

“I’m fine, Eva.” Farrah huffed.

“I’m serious.” Eva said, frowning at the shorter girl.

Farrah frowned back. “So am I. Seriously, I’m just not hungry. I ate earlier.”

Eva only raised an eyebrow before taking out her phone and going back to the Tigers group chat, which had gone back to the familiar idle chatter after it had been made clear that Farrah was alright.

Eva: hey Annleigh, do you know if Farrah has eaten today?

Annleigh: she didn’t eat dinner  
Annleigh: and I didn’t see her at lunch

Eva: thank you :)

Kate: oh shit dangerous smiley

Cairo: good luck to Farrah

Mission accomplished, Eva put her phone down and looked back to Farrah. “Annleigh said she didn’t see you at lunch and you didn’t eat dinner.”

Farrah froze before cursing under her breath.

Eva laughed lightly. “Please eat? I’m sorry to push on it but even just a little bit would make me happy and know you’re okay.”

Farrah kept her head ducked but she glanced up at Eva. “I don’t wanna impose or anything.”

Eva realized with that alone what Farrah’s thought process was and her smile softened. “You won’t impose. We have enough to go around, I promise.”

Farrah stared at her for another moment. “... Only if you’re sure.”

Eva gave her a nod. “And I’m sure.”

“Alright, okay…” Farrah finally relaxed, nodding back slowly. “What are we having?”

Eva smiled at her, walking into the kitchen. “Why don’t we find out?”

Dinner with the Sanchez family had been pleasant. Ms. Sanchez had asked some questions to Farrah, about the things she liked and general stuff like that. But upon seeing that Farrah was getting uncomfortable with the questions she had stopped but didn’t seem disappointed. When they had finished the rest of their food in silence, it didn’t feel tense like at Farrah’s own house.

They finished and Eva gathered up the plates as Ms. Sanchez steered Farrah back into the hall. “Are you alright with the couch? It’s a pull out.”

Eva called from the kitchen. “If you aren’t you can always have my bed for the night! I’m fine with the couch!”

Farrah blinked, wide eyed at that. Eva was literally willing to give up her own bed for the night?

“Uh… the couch is fine…”

Ms. Sanchez only smiled softly at the answer. “Alright then, let me go grab the blankets and a pillow for you. Eva, do you think she can borrow some of your clothes?”

Eva nodded, poking her head into the room. “Yeah of course! You know where my sleep stuff is, mom.”

“I’m fine sleeping in these—!” Farrah tried to interject.

“Farrah, I don’t mind.” Eva said easily, cutting Farrah off. Farrah reluctantly backed down.

As Ms. Sanchez wandered off, Eva joined Farrah fully in the living room. Farrah stared at her in confusion. “Why are you and your mom being so nice?”

“Well, we just want to help.” Eva said simply.

“... I think I remember you at the hospital.” Farrah said slowly. “Everything hurt but you were there.”

Eva paused for a moment before speaking, beginning to fidget with a stray string from her shirt. “Yeah… it was the night of the incident. You woke up out of nowhere screaming, no one knew what to do so I stepped in and calmed you down.”

Farrah studied her. Ever so faintly, she could remember that. Yet, Eva didn’t seem to want anything out of this or from before… it was the same as the others. None of them were trying to get anything from her or spread the countless rumors. They sincerely seemed to want to help.

It… kind of disturbed Farrah.

No one ever had ever really done something just to care about her before. It was new. And yet, it felt nice.

Maybe, Farrah could get used to it.

“We just want to help.”

Farrah jolted up from where her gaze had gone to the floor. What the hell? Was Eva a mind reader?

Eva was staring at her, a more serious look on her face. “Maybe people used everything against you in the past. God, I bet both viral incidents were hell on earth for you with rumors and questions, huh?”

Farrah stared at her, stunned before quickly looking away before tears could return to her eyes. Fuck, Eva was right… she was absolutely right… so many rumors and questions, so much fake sympathy. Sometimes, people mocked her after finding her in the bathroom crying. Farrah stopped crying in front of people after that.

Eva was still talking. “And maybe you and the others hated each other. But it’s all changed now. They’re doing their best to be friends to each other and to you. We all just want to be your friend, Farrah…”

Farrah didn’t give her a response.

A second later, Ms. Sanchez came back with a pillow and blankets. She put them on the couch next to Farrah.

“Well, I have an early shift in the morning.” She said with a sigh. She gave Eva a tired smile. “So I better go on to bed. Sleep well, girls!”

Eva and Farrah both gave her goodnight along with a thank you from the latter. And then, Ms. Sanchez left the room.

“I hope you sleep okay, Farrah. Come get me if you need anything, alright?” Eva said, giving Farrah one more smile.

“Yeah, sure.” Farrah said quietly, still thinking about their earlier conversation. “I’m gonna change. I think I’m ready to sleep too.”

Eva showed Farrah to the bathroom before vanishing into her bedroom. The clothes were too big on Farrah, but they would work to sleep in.

Contrary to what she said, Farrah wasn’t ready to sleep. She laid on that pull out bed under the warm and soft blankets, staring at the wall. She laid there and simply ran through her thoughts for a while.

Later on, Farrah would look back and think that maybe, that was the exact night where it all finally clicked into place.

They really did just want to care for her…

And that realization brought on tears and stifled sobs before she soon enough fell asleep. Maybe tomorrow she would be more open to friendship with the other tigers.

(And if Farrah started sleeping on the Sanchez’s couch more often, if it started to feel more like home than home actually did, then her parents didn’t really have to know, now did they?)

Over in Eva’s room, the flier was staring at her phone, debating Farrah’s earlier words about her and Kate.

She swallowed deeply and opened her messages with Kate. Anxiously, she typed out a message.

Eva: hey kate, I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out  
Eva: on a date

There was a long beat, Eva’s anxiety rising every second that passed. (Little did she know, Kate had promptly stopped processing upon seeing that message. It took Chess yelling at her in their own messages for her to finally reply. And then also trying to think of a smooth response.)

Kate: how about the new pizza place

Eva let out a heavy breath of relief, a beaming smile crossing her lips.

Eva: sounds amazing!  
Eva: maybe after practice Monday?

Kate: its a date :)

Eva: indeed :)  
Eva: im going to head to bed now, I want to make breakfast for farrah before she gets up in the mornin gif i can

Kate: you really are a good person  
Kate: sweet dreams eva

And Eva could safely say she had sweet dreams after that.


End file.
